Picking Up the Pieces // Harry Styles

Fourteen

I meant to like italicize everything and stuff but I can't get on the computer :( I think you'll probably notice where it should be italicized. 

It's like 7 AM and I'm updating so you better love me right now c: enjoy! 

Did you all know it was Earth Day yesterday? Like I totally forgot oops. Lemme shut up now.

Fourteen 

HARRY'S POV 

"So, how's Scarlett?" Louis obnoxiously asked as I got in the car.  

"She's fine." I said with a small smile.

"Do you fancy her?" Louis grinned extra big.

Maybe he expected me to roll my eyes with a smile, telling him to shut up playfully.

The old Harry would've done that.  

But the old Harry was gone. He left a long time ago.

"I-I don't know, Lou." I whispered, staring at the open road. Cars whizzed by, gone in seconds and not lingering around like Louis as he drove my car incredibly slow. Louis came by taxi, probably wanting to engage in another conversation with me.

"What do you mean? Of course you know when you fancy a girl." He pressed on, glancing at me briefly.

The way he said it - though I'm sure he didn't mean for it to - reminded of me of what a monster I was.

A filthy manwhore.

The labels they smacked on me all rushed back to my head.

Disgusting.

Villain of the Year.

Oh, I'm sorry for doing all the charity work in Ghana when I could've been partying with A-listers. I'm sorry for giving out a huge pizza to some homeless people when I could've flown out to some Caribean Islands to lounge around in.

I'm so so sorry.

Still not good enough.

"She's different." I whispered, holding back my tears. "She's not like Cara or Taylor."

You're not good enough for her.

"She deserves - " I sighed. "Someone so much better than me." My eyes watered as Louis lowered the radio. "Someone like Ed. He knows her. She knows him."

Louis didn't say a word.

"She deserves someone who can treat her like a Queen."

When you're broken, you have no heart.

I have nothing to give.

I've practically got bubblewrap around my heart, locked in it a box, and buried it six feet under. My life hadn't even begun yet.

I had no heartbeat.

No pulse.

Dead.

Living, walking dead.

"She deserves someone who's not like me."

"What do you mean by that, Harry?" Louis whispered finally, staring at the road.

I wanted to be angry at him. I wanted to shove him and yell at him. He didn't understand. He didn't understand me like Scarlett did.

Scarlett didn't have to ask what I meant by that, because she in fact already knew.

I looked him right in the eye. I envied him. He was alive. He could feel. He was sane.

I wanted to say, no one can love something that's broken.

But I didn't.

"You wouldn't understand." I softly mumbled.

And he never would.