Words Never Said

Chapter 9: Please

-CHAPTER 9-

Sunday, 2022

I sat there stiffly waiting for a response from them, any of them but no one is saying anything. They're just staring at with disbelief as if I made everything up. I wished so much that everything was made up, that none of that ever happened.

I kept chanting, please don't hate me, please don't judge me, repeatedly in my head. I held onto Glen's hand as if my life depended on it. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to explode inside of me. Why weren't they saying anything, at this moment even an 'oh' was acceptable. The silence was slowly eating me inside. My eyes were starting to fill up with tears and pressed my lips together trying to hold the tears in, god how I hated crying.

"Can you guys say something?" I couldn't take the silence anymore. Glen squeezed my hand to reassure me that he was still there, next to me.

Everyone looked around to each other trying to see who would speak up first and finally Amber spoke. "Why didn't you tell me this before April?" she didn't look scared of me or mad at me, she looked sad. "It's not something easy to say" my voice cracked a little and a few tears escaped my eyes and I quickly brushed them off my cheeks.

"Hey, we're your friends, your one of my girls, I'm not going to judge you, I know you didn't kill her for pure pleasure, you did it as self-defense, like the judge said" Destiny told me with a small smile.

"Yea we've been through too much in high school to leave this friendship, nobody can leave this friendship" Jheyka said looking around the table. I'm not going to lie hearing them say this made me feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

"This doesn't leave this house" Glen told everyone, it almost sounded like a warning.

I noticed that my body was still very tense so I relaxed and leaned back on my chair. I drifted into my thoughts; I couldn't believe I just told them what happened, telling them hurt. When I was explaining everything it was like I was reliving it all over again. I never knew what happened to any of them, Glen took me to the hospital before they left or before the police got there. I wonder what they did to her body. Did Chris and his boys just leave her there or did they take her somewhere, did she get a funeral, and how about Jonathan and Caleb what happened to them.

I never saw them again after that day, it’s not like I wanted to anyways. I was afraid of how they would react, it was my fault that Caleb got so badly injured, he probably hated me, I don't blame him, and I hate myself too sometimes.

I was ripped from my thoughts, I felt someone tugging on my arm. It was Rosie.

"Hey sweetie, what is it?" I asked her, she stretch out her arms and closed and opened a fist with both her hands, I giggled at this because I knew she wanted me to put her on my lap and because she was a little too old to be doing that, but regardless I grabbed her from her underarms and picked her up and sat her on my lap.

She began to play with my hair and I looked at Glen who was already looking at me and Rosie, "what?" I give him a questioning look. "It's just so cute how much she adores you, as If you were really her aunt" he told me. I gave him a fake hurt and shocked look "What do you mean? I'm really her aunt!" he looked at me with amusement and it made me realized how much I miss him being around all the time.

I glanced at everyone, it made me realized how much I missed everyone that's here with me now, my mom was right friendships really don't last long as you hope. One thing that I did love was that everyone talked to each other like they just talked the day before even though it’s been years since some of them talked to each other. Then it hit me, friendship is just a word, you give it its meaning and to me it was this.

It really did take me by surprise that none of them judged me; maybe I was the one being too harsh on myself. I blamed myself for everything that happened that night but I shouldn't. Sure I was to blame for something’s but not for everything and they made me realized that. My friends, my amazingly wonderful friends.

"So shall we continue?" Danny asked with an enthusiastic voice. Why not I thought to myself.

Everyone was too caught up in their separate conversations to hear what Danny said and I could tell it annoyed him. He always hated being ignored or not having the attention. He grabbed the bottle and banged it on the table, not hard enough to break it but just enough to startle everyone and avert their eyes to him. This brought a victorious smile on his face and he winked at me. He knew I was the only one that had paid attention to him when he asked about continuing.

"Now as I was saying, can we continue?" he said in a very evil tone, I wonder what he had in mind.

Everyone just stared at him like they were afraid to continue, like they were also hiding something from everyone, I raised my eyebrows with curiosity. Whatever it was I'm sure it couldn't be as bad as my secret, or could it. I took a while for everyone to agree to continue. I realized that Amber had been quiet this whole time, I wasn't sure if it was because she was having a hard time processing that her best friend was a murderer or if there was something she's been hiding from me well everyone, as well.

She was staring down at her lap for a while before she finally looked up and I gave a worried and questioning look, she just shook her head and gave me a small smile trying to convince me she was fine but I knew better. Amber was never quiet, ever. She was always talking about something. Something was definitely wrong, but I shrugged it off for the moment knowing she would tell me sooner or later, she couldn't keep anything from me.

Danny then handed me the bottle and told me that since I was the one to confess first I should spin it. I really didn't want to, I didn't even want to touch the damn bottle, I felt anger towards it for landing on me first but whatever, I  leaned in with Rosie still on my lap and placed the bottle in the center of the table and spun it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is the bottle going to land on next :o ! I'm going to try to update this as often as I can!