The start of school was a daze I walk the halls as if I were a zombie, in class I couldn't focus on anything or anyone and luckily for me I rarely have friends so I know no one would bother me, just like always.
Next thing I know it's lunch time this is the class I have with one of my close friends I can't say we're best friends because we never really got to know each other but we tell each other most things in our lifes.
The thing I like about her is shes always honest, if someone did something to piss her off she would tell them off and that is what I love about her.
She's also use to Harm herself but I don't have the guts to tell her that I've harmed myself.
I take my normal seat next to her just like a normal day, she looks at me and offers me a smile but I fail to give her one back.
"Whats wrong?" She asks looking concerned "Nothing im just really tired." I replied with half the truth because deep down im tired of life itself.
She failed to notice that I was lying and I don't blame her because i'm so good at hiding my pain from others.
I absentmindedly put my hand inside my jacket sleeve to touch my scars, but as I touch them I get the sudden urge of hurting myself again and I dig my nails deeply into my skin all with a straight face.
The pain was pleasurable and comforting in a way. I started to smile remembering what it felt like to feel an emotion.
Constance must of noticed because she started to talk.
"Are you okay? What are you smiling about?"
She must have noticed my hand and quickly grabbed it to look at my wrist but when she saw the blood coming out of my skin she gasped. I just sat there motionless and feeling a bit guilty.
" Why? What is wrong? Why are you doing this? How long ?" She asked in hysteria I looked at her and blinked.
"What is wrong with you?" she screamed causing all the classes attention to focus on us.
I quickly pull my sleeve down and look at the teacher. She look upset that we disturbed what ever she was doing.
And I shrugged and l just muttered a 'sorry' and gathered my thing and waited for the bell to ring. As soon as it did I ran out of the door as fast as possible. Trying my best to get away from everyone. I was on the verge of tears and I didn't want anyone to see me cry.
When I made it to the bathroom I locked myself in the stall and cried.
I am tired of being a disappointment. Why can't I just be a good person for everyone? Why am I me ?
Trying my best to get away from everyone.
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So how are liking the book so far I do hope you like. But if not oh well its not meant for everybody. :)
