𝐄𝐤𝐤𝐨 | 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐬

27. Disappointments

Little man pulled his eyebrows together, confused, unsure if I was mocking him or tearing myself apart in front of him.
"I am not going back with you," I told him.
"I have something I need to do."

"Shark," he moved forward again, a touch of fear in his voice. "Don't do anything reckless. Just... come back to the base. Let us think it through."
"No," I said pointedly, "I need to be alone."

He reached out, something like an instinct, fingers grazing the air near my arm.
I shoved him away, hard.
His feet skidded a little on the bridge's floor, and he froze there, looking stunned. I hadn't hurt him, but he was shocked because it came from me. And I felt guilt crawl up my chest immediately, so sharp and ugly, but I ignored it.

Guilt was a liar. It had no place in me. Not when I used to take lives like it was strategy, with no second thoughts, just a soldier executing plans Silco planted into my head like poison dressed in purpose.
Ekko blinked, white hair falling over his eyes.
"What are you gonna do now?"
I could feel the disappointment in his voice.
"Run back to Silco?"

"Silco may have never seen all I was, but at least he didn't lie to me. He didn't hide from me. You... hid things. You joined the side Zaun has fought against since forever, and you did it behind my back."
His eyes widened, hurt flickering fast.
"I didn't join anyone—"
"You did," I interrupted. "You looked at their shining promises, and you actually believed there's a greater good. There isn't."
He stayed silent, because he could not deny it.
His fists clenched.
"I only ever wanted to protect us," he whispered, defeated to the point that I almost apologised for being so... what was I? Heartless? No... I just couldn't understand his reasoning.

"I know. You wanted to protect what's left of us. What I wanted, was to make sure we're never torn apart again," I shared, shaking my head. "But I guess, we're too far gone for either."
I turned, began walking far from him.
"Don't go," he said softly.
I kept my pace steady.
"Please," he begged this time, and I knew something in him was breaking like it did for me.
I didn't listen, my hood came up.
Hands buried in my coat pockets.
The bridge stretched endlessly before me, flooded in neon gold and deep night.

~

The stars above had disappeared behind the smoke clouds once I'd found the alley that led into the undercity, walking aimlessly until I ended up where I had the happiest memories.
Our old play place. What was left of it.
Shattered planks, crumbling stone, a twisted beam or two. It smelled of metal and mildew, a rot that never left this part of the world. I crouched down near the old crate we once used as a makeshift fort, and let my head fall into my hands.

I could still hear the mechanical sounds of the shooting range Powder and Milo used to fight over because the latest never wanted to admit she was better than him. I could still hear Vi's fists on that ripped punching bag, now stationary.

Then I remembered the night my father had been killed— Piltover's mistake, they called it.
And then my mother, blamed by our own for not being enough of a symbol— Zaun's disgrace.
They had taken me from the wreckage like I was currency. Locked me in a room with cracked walls and dangerous glass shards on the floor.
I was a child, barefoot, bleeding. Breathing mold and despair. And I survived.

But I think, something in me never left that room. And here I was once more— crouched down, surrounded by dust and shadow— wondering if that kidnapped little girl ever really left that dark and scary room at all.