Beating the System

Chapter Six: Funeral

I came back to school and everything a week later. I had to replace my last hour with counseling. I couldn't focus on class because Emily used to be in every single one of them. Now her desk sat empty.

Everyday, every hour, all I could do was fix my stare on her desk and remember. My grades were failing. When I got home, all I did was stare at a picture of us. I miss her. I want her back. I'll do anything.

Emily's funeral is tomorrow. I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like something is slowly choking me and I'm eventually just going to be out of air. I need her here to help me. I can't do this on my own. I don't use our locker anymore. I don't eat. I don't learn. I don't speak. I'm so empty. So...lost.

*   *   *

The next day came too fast. I wasn't ready to put my best friend in the ground. Dani took me to the church, where I sat in the front pew and stared at Em's pretty blue coffin. She always loved blue.

When it was my turn to speak, I walked up to the coffin with the white rose I brought for her. It was her favourite.

"Emily...why? I was here for you...I told you to talk to me if you had something bothering you. Was I not a good enough friend? Did I do something to loose your trust? I'm so sorry I couldn't help you...I...I love you, Emily. I miss you. I'll always remember you. Goodbye..." I said to her soulless shell of a body.

I sat back down, now crying. I saw her grandmother looking at me with a look of complete disapproval. She blamed me. Her parents must blame me, too. I led them away from the house just like she wanted, but I swore I had no idea. Who am I kidding though? I blame myself. It's a ridiculous circle. I couldn't wait for the funeral to be over.

*   *   *

We had just finished burying her. Everyone was dispersing. I was leaving, too. I was gonna walk home. I waited to leave, though, until nearly everyone left. I got up to go.

Not halfway out of the cemetery, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and my face connected with a quite large fist. I fell to the ground. "That's for being so fuckin' useless in the terms of a damn 'best friend!'" A boy said. He had two other boys with him. They all looked like star football players. The first one pulled me back up by my shirt, "You have two options. You have a) get beaten but survive, or b) join Emily among the ranks of the dead. Y'know...if you can manage to get the same rank as that angel. So what'll it be?" he breathed into my face.

I had never seen any of these guys before. I was confused as to where they came from and how they knew Emily. She didn't do sports and only hung out with me and Stacy. He slammed me up against a tree, "Well!?" I just shrugged and he smiled, "looks like b then." They all proceeded to beat me. I did nothing to defend myself.

I could feel the life being slowly sucked from my body with every hit. I accepted it...

*   *   *

I heard a beep. I opened my eyes. "No...no no no...why am I awake?" I thought. "Hello? Dani? Anybody?" I called out. I started to panic and the steady beep...beep...beep...beep turned into beep beep beep beep. I pulled the stuff out of my hands and arms to sit up. An alarm went off and I started to get really scared. I was confused. I wasn't supposed to be in a hospital. I was supposed to be dead.

A nurse ran in and tried to calm me. I asked her where my mother was. Tried to explain to her I shouldn't be here. Dani ran into the room with a worried look on her face. As soon as I saw her, I ran to her (as fast as I could limp) and cried out "MOMMY!" When I got to her I collapsed in her arms crying. As soon as I was good, the nurse sedated me and led me back to my bed.

Apparently, the boys who were beating me got caught while I was unconscious. They're going to jail and I'm alive...in a hospital. Which was just fantastic. From hospital, to funeral, to hospital. Nearly a perfect circle.