Darkness Over Sunshine

1

Ally's POV

"Good night San Antonio! We love you!"

The girls and l ran off stage smiling in an adrenaline rush from the loud, excited crowd.

"Wow that show was so amazing! I think that was the best show of the Summer Reflection Tour yet," Camila exclaimed.

Lauren nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah they were pretty pumped and even sung over us at times. I couldn't even hear myself singing for some parts of the night," Lauren chuckled to herself.

"I do not know about you Walz, but I'm not ready for the night to end yet," Dinah stated.

"I'm not tired either DJ! I'm so ready for some fun in my home state of Texas," Mani shouted.

Camila jumped up and down and yelled "We should get some food! Can we get pizza?!"

After hearing the girls bring the topic about food, I decided to sneak into the large bathroom backstage before they could ask me to come with.

"Ugh Camz you always want pizza, but you're lucky tonight since i'm actually in the mood for it," Lauren stated.

"Me and Mani are definitely in for some pizza," Dinah added.

"Hey guys, where did Ally go? She was just here a minute ago," a confused Lauren asked.

When I heard my name being mentioned by Lauren, I panicked. I knew that they were going to ask me out to eat and I can't eat food. Especially pizza.

"I think I saw her slip away and go into the bathroom. She has been pretty quiet and reserved lately," Mani said worriedly.

Both Lauren and Camila nodded their heads in agreement.

"Yeah, I've noticed it too," Dinah frowned.

Oh no. They can't be worried about me. Then they will ask questions and questions will not lead anywhere good. They cannot know about my struggles with food. They will make me stop. I cannot physically eat. I want to be perfect. Perfect for my family, friends, the girls, and the fans. I know that I am the least liked member of the group. I know that when I am done losing weight, everything will be better. I will finally be happy and make my family proud of me. I just have to put on a big fake smile for the girls and show that nothing is wrong with me.

"Hey girls!" I ran back to the girls before they can continue to talk about me.

"Smalz! We were just about to come and find you! Did you want to come with us to get some pizza? It was obviously Mila's idea to get pizza," Dinah chuckled while asked me.

"That is so sweet of you girls to invite me to come with, but I promised my family that I would spend dinner with them tonight at my house," I stated.

"Oh I totally forgot that we were in your hometown! I never know what town we are in anymore," Camila frowned. "I hope you have an amazing time with your family then!"

"Thanks Mila. I will."

After all the girls leave to explore the city, I sighed in relief. I can finally relax. Sometimes it takes a lot of strength and work to pretend to be happy all the time. Sometimes I need a little help to be that happy. But I will save that for tomorrow before the show.

I walked into the bathroom of our tour bus and looked into my reflection and grimaced. My reflection was mocking me. We talk about being brave, honest, and beautiful, but I am not anyone of those. I am worthless. I am ugly. I am fat. I am taken out of my self-deprecating thoughts when I hear my phone ringing. I look at my phone and see that it's my mom.