Please
It was six-thiry four. (6:34pm)
I heard the front door open. I skipped a breath when I heard the gears in the door knob click. I suddenly grew more nervous and wanted to hide, or maybe run away, but, I wanted to be strong in front of him, to make my case on what was happening and developing in me.
I walked out of my room and down the short hallway. My father was sitting at the kitchen table. He was hunched over with a beer bottle in his hand.
He looked in my direction. His face suddenly became more serious. He looked more angry and evil than the night before.
"You!" He yelled to me; (his way of calling me over.) He signaled me to come to him with his index-finger.
I slowly walked forward, "Get over here!" I then quickly stood in front of him, a couple of feet away. He pushed the chair out and then stood in front of me. He held a plastic bag in his hand. The one I had put in the bin outside. The one that held the test.
"What--is--this?!" He said slowly, his teeth clenched, his face still serious.
"Dad ple--?!"
"WHAT IS THIS?!" He yelled again. "ANSWER ME!"
"It's a pregnancy test," I said quietly.
My mother looked to me from the dishes she was tending to.
"What?" She asked, surprised. Her eyes were wide. She walked over and took the bag out of his hand. She looked through the white plastic of the bag and then back to me.
She didn't seem angry, more of worried.
"Are you--?" She had trouble finishing.
"Pregnant? Yes," I said. I was scared because my father hadn't said a word yet. His face was growing more and more angrier by the second.
My mother cupped her mouth and dropped the bag.
"Oh my God!" She said.
"Mom--" I began.
"NO! You don't say anything!" My father shouted, "Get out, you God-damn slut!" He said the last part under his breath.
I was astonished. My mother was looking at him.
"No!" She said, standing up for her and myself. He slapped her and she went to the ground. "MOM!" I went down to her, "Mom." I said again.
"You have a half an hour to pack and then your gone," he said, ignoring her once again.
"DAD--"
"GO!"
I got her to her feet and then, ran to my room and began to take clothing out of my dresser. I took my carpetbag out of my closet and began to stuff it. I grabbed the locket with the pictures of my mother and brother inside of it, from my dresser. I took out all of my long-sleeved shirts out of my top drawer and stuffed them in. I grabbed all of my pajama pants and jackets I could find. I went under my bed and took out this wood box that my brother had painted.
Inside, there was my collection of money and a few things I had from when I was little. One of the things were a white, stringy rag. It used to be a big, white blanket but I had used it so much, that it began to fall apart. (I put the locket I grabbed from my side-table inside of it.) And the last thing was a pocket-sized, leather bag. It was one of the bags that could hang from your neck. I closed the box and put it in.
I looked out my window and m father had just left. I didn't know where he was going but I knew that I would most likely never see him again.
My mother then came into my room. She didn't want me to leave but she knew that she didn't make the decisions around here.
"Is it true?" She asked again.
I sighed, unsteadily, "Yes," I said quietly.
"When did this happen?" She asked.
"Last night, he raped me, mom," I said, looking down to my feet. (I was sitting on the side of the bed with her.)
I leaned against her and she hugged me.
"Do I have to go?" Tears began to swell on my bottom eye lid.I rested my head on her shoulder. "I'm scared, mom," I said in a weak voice.
"I know, I was, too," she said, "but, everything will be fine."
"Where will I go?" I asked her.
"Where ever your heart takes you, kiddo," she said. I could feel in her voice that she was beginning to cry also. She turned me to face her. She held my face on her hands. "If this is how it was meant to be, I promise you we will find each other, alright?" She said.
I nodded. I got to my feet, my bag on my back and a jacket on. I was ready to leave. I was walking towards the door when suddenly my mother stopped me.
"Wait! I have something for you," she said, holding up her finger-- signaling to wait.
She walked into her room. I stood in front of the front door, waiting. I looked around the room thinking: This is where I grew up and I would never see it again.
My mother walked back out, holding a box in her hand.
"What is this?" I was looking at it. She set it on the coffee table, beside me. She also had another bag for me. She handed it to me and signaled me to come over with her, where she set the box down. I walked over and sat on the chair in front of it.
"Baby clothes and toys. They were yours when you were born," she explained. I smiled at her and opened the top of the box.
Inside, there was another blanket, a sheet that was on the crib, a rugged teddy bear, a stuffed mouse (that was my mother's great, great grandmother's;) and baby shoes; slippers. As I went through these, I put them in the bag.
After the box was empty, I looked to her and she hugged me.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"I love you, kiddo," she whispered.
"I love you, too," I whispered.
I got to my feet and began to walk to the door, after I hugged my mother, goodbye. I opened the front door and shut it behind me as I left. I was off. And, I wouldn't look back because I knew my mother was watching me in the window as I walked down the dirt-driveway.
