Kendra's Phanfiction One-Shot Collection

Always and Forever

Always and Forever

Triggers: Self Harm

Suicide

Major Character Death

Graphic blood describing.

This is *Phil's POV* for most of this... If it isn't I will indicate as such.

June 11, 2019

    I hate seeing Dan like this, distraught over the loss of someone he cared... no, cares about. The worst thing about the situation was that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

January 16, 2019

The blood was crimson on the fresh snow as it slowly melted away through the cold white powder. I watched as my physical being struggles on the cold, hard ground. The depressing sight would have disgusted anybody, but I felt relieved, almost giddy. 

     I heard Dan came into our shared flat. "Philly, I'm home!" He yelled excitedly, "And I have something super AMAZING to tell you!"

     I listened as his footsteps drew closer. "Phil?" No response.

"Phil?!" A deafening silence answers him.

"Phil! It's not funny! Come out now! I know you're here, you said when I left that you were just staying in today!" I heard his voice become more and more frantic as the footfalls ran around the flat, opening every door, every cupboard, and every window.

     Giving up on his search about halfway through, he finally got out his iPhone and called mine, following the ringing until he saw me on the balcony, now partially covered with snow, due to my decreasing temperature. I watched him take in the scene in front of him. From my limp form to the knife tossed carelessly to the side. He observed the inhuman blood loss on the now scarlet snow. He noticed the envelope curled into my hand. I watched as he read the outside of the envelope.

"For my Bear, Daniel James Howell"

I watched as he hesitated for a moment, as if wondering whether or not to open the note. As if he knew what was inside. I flinched as he suddenly tore open the envelope. I watched as he read the letter in my most perfect handwriting.

"Dan, this did not happen because of you," my letter wrote, "Just know that much. You don't need to know why I did this, just that it wasn't because of you.

Dan... my first, my last, my soulmate. My first kiss (remember the first Phil is not on Fire, when you jumped on me, and our lips accidentally touched and it was awkward for a few days, until I told you about my feelings towards you?), my last kiss (this morning, when we woke up and you kissed me good morning, and I complained about my morning breath and you said that you didn't give a fuck, you loved me and would give me good morning kisses always and forever). The man who took my virginity (remember our first time, when we were under the stars?). You were my first and last everything.

My Last Words.

"I Love You, Daniel James Howell. My Bear. Dan."

The last words to pass my lips.

We were planning our wedding. Before I go I would like you to know...

I do.

I had already planned what I was going to say for my vows:

"I do. I do I do I do. I love you so, so much. I will always love you. Forever and Always, remember? I will always love you, even when I'm dead and gone, and you've moved on. Even when we fight, even when we hit those bumps in the road and we scream that we hate each other. I will love you then. Even when I don't show it, or say it, just know that I do. I love you. Through sickness and health. Until death do us part."