Misunderstood

Confront Me?

I tiredly walked down the sidewalk trying to decide whether or not to go to my mother's house for tonight or mines. There was nothing wrong with my place, but sometimes I just like to be at home. It makes me feel like I don't have any problems.
I sighed and ran a hand through my thick, brown, curly hair. I tugged my jacket around my body in attempt to regian some of the body heat I had already lost. The crisp air blew violently past my face, and stabbed at my cheeks. It started to rain out of nowhere, so I ran into a nearby Walmart.
I sulked through the store trying to find the umbrellas so that I could try and find my way to my mother's house. None of the employees seemed to be around, so I hopelessly wondered around the store. I sighed defeated and pulled out my phone to check the time. It was getting late so I just mentally agreed on getting a rain coat. I started walking but was forcefully stopped when I bumbed into a body.
"I am so sorry!" I exclaimed to the not so stranger in front of me.
"It's okay. What are you doing here Misery?" Mia asked.
"Grabbing a umbrella, but this bitch store doesn't have any." I laughed. She joined me by giggling.
"The struggle." She says before asking me a question. "Do you want a ride? You know, to where ever you're going."
"No thank you, Mia. My mums house is just a couple blocks down." I said. She nodded her head and wave me goodbye before walking down the home goods isle.
I walked towards the rain coats and bumbed into another body.
"I'm sorry." I said shyly because this I knew for sure that this was someone I did not know.
"No it's my fault." A husky voice said. I looked up to see a well sculpted man. "Are you okay?" He said reaching his hand out to check around my head for any bruises. I quickly stepped away from him.
"Yeah." I said in a voice that contrasted with the outgoing voice I held a moment ago talking to Mia. He tried to step towards me, but I ducked my head and swiftly walked around him.
I mentally sighed and picked out a black rain coat, and stalked towards the cashier. I stood in the long line that contrasted to the empty stored. I mentally shamed myself for running away from such a beautiful man. I cursed myself for being so shy and reserved. From being so afriad of possibility and rejection. If I could, I could've had a whole sad moment, but I was used to these types of situations. This was not the first time I'd ran away from people due to my shyness.
After I paid for my raincoat, I continued to my mums house. I didn't take me long to reach her house. I knocked on her door and she answered in seconds with a grin on her face. She had always loved me and my siblings company. She pulled me in from the cold and gave me a warm blanket that I graciously took. Her smile soon faded into a worried expression as she studied the helpless look on my face.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"It's me. It's been years and I still can't get over being shy," I groaned ", it's so miserable! I'm not a shy person once you get to know me and I'm driving people away. They think I don't like them because of how I change my attitude around the people I am comfortable with. I can't even talk to someone without starring at my feet. It seems like I have grudges with people because of this... This disorder!" I had finally lost it, again. I cried. I cried into the ends of my long sleeved shirt as my mother hushed me.
"Hey, stop crying. You will fix nothing by crying. It doesn't matter what 'grudges' people have because of your 'two faced' ways. You know that you aren't being two faced or trying to imply that you dislike them. If they can't stay to see your fun witty personality then screw them," she said after whipping my tears ", you will find yourself when you want to. You will get over your shyness when you want to, but until you do you will have people with you that understands you and loves you."
After she told me that I went up stairs to my guest room. I stripped of my slightly soggy clothing and sulked towards the bathroom. I turned on the water and took a cold shower. I stood there for a while contemplating everything. When the water started to sting I got out. I stared at myself in the mirror. I saw a lost girl who wanted to know who she was. I saw someone afriad to leave the comfort. I saw myself and I wasn't pleased with what I saw. I slid into the covers of the well made bed and starred at the ceiling.
"Oh Misery, you have to find yourself." I whispered before closing my eyes.