All That Matters

Chapter Five

'Sophie offered to what?' Amanda jumped, as soon as she heard about Sophie's offer to be a surrogate from Adam.

'She has offered to have a baby for us. She says we can use her eggs, and my sperm for artificial insemination. The baby will be legally mine, and we can formalize adoption to give you rights within weeks of the baby's birth. I have been researching the legal ins and outs - '

Amanda cut his sentence. 'So you have decided already all of this without thinking of me.'

'Of course I am thinking of you, of us. To have a baby was all we have ever wanted, and now Sophie is willing to do it for us.'

'You mean you want to use another woman now, because I can't give you a child?'

'No that's not it at all.' He tried to hold her face in his hands, but she pulled away from him.

'That is exactly it. Now that I was finally getting some peace, you turn up with this crazy idea! It's none of Sophie's business anyway!'

'But we - '

'When did she offer to do this anyway?'

'Yesterday.'

'Was that why you were so happy? Why did you not tell me about it before?'

'I didn't want to get your hopes up before I was sure she meant what she was saying?'

'I've already given up hope!'

'I think you should consider it,' said Adam slowly, 'maybe not now, but after a while when you get over the miscarriage.'

Amanda stormed off, wondering how on earth do you ever get over something like that.

~

'That is why I never let you drink!' Kate, Sophie's sister, exclaimed.

Sophie sighed, rubbing her temples. 'It's done now.'

'It's not! You can still call them up and tell them you changed your mind.'

'I can't. I don't want to hurt Amanda.'

'And I don't want to see you hurting!'

'I'm gonna be okay,' said Sophie, unsure if she was telling Kate or herself.

~

'Do you think she would have changed her mind by now?' Amanda asked, a week later, as she laid in bed with Adam. Although she didn't take anyone's name, they both knew who she was talking about.

'You know her better than I do. Once she makes up her mind, no one can convince her to change it.'

'Unlike me,' she whispered, her voice too low for even Adam to hear.

'So, did you think about it?' he asked.

For the last week, that was all she thought about. No matter what she was doing, she would be thinking about the possibilities Sophie's offer had opened up. It was like before; she was, once again, hopeful.

Unfortunately, being hopeful and being at peace cannot happen at the same time.

'Yes.'

'You want it to happen, don't you?'

Years after taking every chance to try to have a baby, how could she pass this one up? 'Yes.'

~

When the doorbell rang, and Sophie went to answer it, she was surprised to see Amanda: since Sophie had offered to have a child for her best friend, Amanda hadn't been returning her texts or calls.

Adrenaline rushed through Sophie's body, as she thought of the reasons why Amanda was here: to tell Sophie that she understood her feelings, even if her husband didn't, to tell Sophie that it was the end of their friendship, to tell Sophie that her idea was stupid and that she doesn't have to worry about their relationship.

But when Amanda she was seated, she said, 'I came to talk...about the baby.'

Sophie nodded. 'So I suppose it's about whether you want me to have the baby or not?'

'It's a very generous offer.' Amanda paused, starring at her hands. 'Are you sure you can do it? I mean, you told Adam that you would, but I wanted to be certain.'

When Amanda lifted her face and looked into Sophie's eyes, Sophie saw something there that she hadn't in a long time: hope.

She knew Amanda would be a great mother someday.

'I will do it.'

'Sophie,' Amanda whispered before breaking down into tears.

Sophie suddenly rushed to her, took her face in her hands, and asked, 'What's wrong?'

'It's really incredible of you.' Amanda hugged Sophie and buried her face in her neck. 'Thank you.'

'I'm glad to help,' she replied, hugging Amanda closer. She could feel the heat of Amanda's breath on her neck, as she rubbed Amanda's back. She realised how perfectly Amanda's face fit in the curve of her shoulder, as if it was meant to fit there.