Unsteady || H.S

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Harry I'm fine. I want to go to school, I want to live my life. I can't just stop living, if I sit around and think about it everything gets worse. That's how I live my life Harry, I don't think about things like I should. I push it all away and it never comes back."

I place the shirt over my head and shrug Harry's hand off of my shoulder. "Your dad did. You pushed him away and he came back, everything with your mum came back. Shit comes back Sky, I can't let you do this to yourself. Please, just tell me why you're pushing me away like this," the hurt in his voice was evident, causing my heart to tug in my chest.

"I don't want to," I look down and he takes my hand in his. "Then please, don't. We're going to talk about this okay?" I nod and follow him to the couch.

"Talk. Tell me how you're feeling, how I can help you." I nod and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. "I feel used Harry, that's all. Every time I've closed my eyes these past few months that's all I can see."

"Do you blame me?" I look at him in confusion, pain covering his face. "What are you talking about?"

"I didn't get to you in time. Are you pushing me away because part of you blames me for what happened?"

"Harry, no. Never. You thought I was fine, going to the bathroom. I'd never blame you for the disgusting acts of another person."

"I promised you I'd never let someone hurt you again, what does that say about me, what kind of a boyfriend can't even protect his girl," his hand is placed on my cheek, his eyes sad.

•••

"I don't understand why you even took maths. It has nothing to do with what you want to do in life."

Harry and I walk to the math department as he complains about me having the class. Apparently the more time my classes take, the less time we have to prepare for Christmas. He doesn't even allow me to help on the outside, the lights something he's very particular about. But we're going to put the decorations on the tree that we bought last night once we get to his home. A week ago Ramsey and I decorated the dorm, even though neither of us spent any time there we wanted it to be festive.

Harry's been dropping hints about me moving in for a while now. You shouldn't have to come here every night to get clothes for the next day. Who's even paying for that dorm, you know the one you never use? Babe you aren't going to have to use my shampoo and such, I bought you some, so you're comfortable. Oh and there's the whole, let's go home. Not that I mind at all, maybe after next semester if everything between us is still as solid as it is now I could officially move in, of course that is if that's what he wants.

I'm thanking myself for wearing boots with heels as I eye the snow in front of the building. If I had worn anything else my feet would have been buried in the snow due to my height. Harry hands me my coffee that he insisted on carrying since he expected me to trip and fall in my heels and I thank him.

"I took a financial class here, so I can keep up in the big, grown up world since here in America, high school thinks the Pythagorean theorem is so much more important than taxes." He laughs loudly, kissing me afterwards and wishing me a great class. I thank him and say goodbye, kissing his bright red nose before walking carefully up the icy steps.

"Stay warm, I'll be here to pick you up afterwards," he shouts after me and I give him a thumbs up and a smile which he beautifully returns.

•••

"Okay, now explain why you took history. Didn't you get enough of that in high school?"

I have two more classes today, history and a dance class Harry demanded I sign up for on campus. I'm sure he regrets it now that I get out of all my classes at four, and him three.