Happiness in misery

Introduction/ chapter 1

I wrote the first chapter listening to spotlight so yeah...
Warning this book contains a shit ton of fucking song references you have been warned

"Patrick I'm sorry" Amelia said as she looked in the hurt in the boy's face

"Amelia you said forever, and I believed that but I just caught you sleeping with some random guys from the bar" Patrick said In a bitter tone of sadness as the love of his life just sat there knowing every single word was true.

"Patrick I was drunk and it didn't mean a thing he was just some guy who started grinding on me and we'll one thing led to another I'm sorry please just forgive me" she said now crying because she knew he wouldn't forgive her even if she begged.

"Fine" he said angrily "but I just need some time tonight by myself just go back to the bus and don't try to sleep with anyone else" he said spitting the words like fire at her.

"Ouch", she though to herself, does he not believe her that it was just another mistake. She messed up all the time anyways, her life was just one big fuck up and maybe it was just time to end it.

~Flash forward 12 hours~

She sat at the edge of the small tub on the bus, everyone was on the bus still asleep and Patrick was well were ever the hell Patrick is probably drunk in a small bar somewhere in town. She drew the razor across her wrist and saw small crimson blood droplets form under her command and she knew she should stop because her brother Pete could walk in at any moment, she had done this whole thing before, get a clean razor, make sure no one is around, 1 cut for every fuck up which in this case was her age of 21 because her life was a fuck up (everyone in this book is 22) and after she did the cuts clean it with some hydrogen peroxide so it didn't get infected and quickly cover it in gauze. Now Pete knew about her depression but ever since she joined them three years ago he figured it had stopped because of Patrick and her friends, he was wrong she was still the depressed person she had always been and this time the thing with Patrick pushed her over the edge of "fine" she was not okay anymore she lost the person she wanted to marry and probably wasn't getting him back.

"Amelia are you in there" she heard her brothers voice quietly through the thin doors of the bus.
"Y-yes I'm in here" She said, her voice quivering because she still hadn't finished she was only on her 13th cut and she still had a few to go.

"Once you get done we need to talk it's serious too." He said in a more loud voice that was not harsh but not nice.

"Okay I'll be out in a few." She decided to finish the last few later and quickly cleaned up. She learned from experience to do wrist not thighs because whenever she would do thighs it would quickly bleed through her skinny jeans from the slightest of movement.

She quickly got out of the bathroom and sat down on the couch were three very hungover men sat, besides Patrick,
"Amelia, Patrick was stabbed and mugged on the way home from a bar, he'll be okay but I want you to not blame yourself okay because Patrick was too stupid to not come home, I mean the bus right after he found you um.. Yeah, but please don't blame yourself I know you've been depressed lately I can tell" Pete said occasionally looking down because he couldn't look at her without crying.

"Pete I'm fi-" Amelia started before being interrupted by Joe

"Amelia we know your not I found my razor earlier with three of the five blades missing and they don't just walk away we know your cutting again and I can't lose my best friend" Joe said in tears because She couldn't stop crying.

"Amelia were stopping at the hospital before we continue the tour your going to have to see Patrick and help me take care of him because he was stabbed in the stomach and needs help walking for a little bit does that sound okay?" Pete said now looking at his sister even though he was crying.
"Whatever I just don't want to look him in he face because no matter what you say I was just being a whore and slept with some other guy even though I had a perfect boyfriend."

"Umm you might want to know this"

"What?"

"The person who stabbed Patrick was the same guy who you slept with."