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"Has she ever disappeared up until now ?" He asks me slowly

I think for a moment trying to remember the hazy memories

"Yes.yes she did that's how I had the honor to meet beauty number 3" I say ever so softly

I still remember that infectious laugh she gave off, she was a bit different from the last two

She had more how do you say, spirit her mind was bright just like her lit up soul

"Ahh yes another beauty, she has a story I believe" he says mentally preparing himself for another tale unspoken of

I smile at the mere thought off her

"Yes indeed"

=Flashback=

Camila left a couple days back

To where ?

How should I know

As to why ?

Boy would I love to know, but unfortunately all things don't have answers yet to be given to you by hand

It didn't make a big impact on me, I've been to out of it to even notice the love of my life's presence missing

Sometimes I can't tell if she's noticed my unusual behavior now a days

She just helps me like I'm a hospital patient walking around with a rather huge grin on her face likes she's made an accomplishment

I've officially gone mute to the outside world and to her

I don't really know what to say anymore, it's like I'm going insane

But only on the inside

I can't seem to put my time and effort into anything but questioning why

Why is she hiding things from me ?

Why are there mysterious beauty's walking my way ?

Why do they talk to me about the same subject as the last one did ?

Why ?

All these answers lay in the palm of Camila's precious yet filthy hands

She is the definition of the saying 'Dirty little secret'

Mysterious is her damn middle name if I do say so myself

And I do

But oddly I still don't regret anything that's happened between her and I

I don't regret willingly letting her take this toll over me

I don't regret loving her until I had nothing left in me to give

I don't regret her or anything that comes with her one tad bit

She's the thing that's keeping me going but the source that's shutting me down slowly

I feel bitter ecstasy, numbness love even

I love her, I love her so much I'm too blind to see she's bad for me

She's not the drug addiction I can't get over

No, no this is stronger than an addiction

It's an obsession even and it's starting to awaken the living hell out of me

I'm currently at the abandon bridge of London looking down at the briskly water below contemplating in my head weather to jump or not

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