Time Travel Tales

1. Me and I

 1. Me and I

The clock alarm beeps the monotone repetitive beeping that so aptly describes my life.

 I try to get up and my mood worsens as I realise I’ve slept in an awkward position and as a consequence my neck aches the same dull way my heart ached after I was rejected by the only girl I knew in my school.

 I try to cheer myself up by telling myself I’d slept in worse positions before, for example the time I fell asleep in my wardrobe after a night spent drinking alcohol in a failed attempt to banish all my problems.

 I fall back down on my bed, wincing as I do so, considering having a day off from work.

 The alarm continues it’s beeping which seems to get more disapproving as time passes.

In a sudden rage I hit the alarm clock as hard as I can, rolling off the bed as I do so.

 I pick up the alarm clock, noticing that, for some bizarre reason it’s gone back by two minutes. I place the alarm on the table turn back to my bed and swear. The person on my bed who looks a little dazed swears as well. Or rather I swore… meaning he swore…basically, we swore, in synchronization but we were both the same people, two identical individuals who were never meant to coexist.

 It took me a few seconds to work it out but it seems that a freak accident has brought me from two minutes ago to present time.

 “Who the hell are you?” He, or rather me from two minutes ago, shouts.

 “I’m you from two minutes in the future.” I shout with surprise and excitement.

 “ Really!” he shouts back, louder.

 “ Do you believe me!” I scream.

 “ No!” He bellows.

 “SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU! I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!” shouts my neighbour through the wall of my apartment.

 I sit him, me, by which I mean the other me, down and explain to him, patiently, the situation. Its three whole minutes later that he finally understands the situation and we seem to be heading to a solution.

“The important thing here,” he says, “Is, I think, the issue of which one of us, is going to go to work.”

 “You.” I say.

 “ And what gives you the right dictate my actions” he retorts.

 “I’m older than you, BY TWO WHOLE MINUTES!”

 “Actually why we don’t solve this problem first.”

 “Even if we solve the problem you’re still going to work.”

 “ Yes, but not under the orders of a patronising me.”

 “Fine, the way I see it, the problem started with me hitting this alarm clock.”

 “Well lets solve the problem then!” he shouts and hits the alarm clock violently.

 We both wait in an expectant silence. Suddenly my wardrobe bursts open and I stumble out, slurring, “I can see two of me, just how drunk am I!” and fall flat on the floor.

 We decided to take a sick leave.