Running With Her Heart

Chapter 1: Never Believe a Runner

Authors Note: Hi, thank you so much for even looking at my story. I just wanted to say that admittedly this first chapter doesn't have any dialog in it. If you don't like that, please just go to the second chapter. In the second chapter there is a lot of talking so if your one who likes to just kind of skim and read what they're saying just move on to the second chapter. It might be a little confusing at first but you should be able to follow along. So sorry for interrupting on to the story.  

Running Song: I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick

            Don't believe a runner. Ever. All runners everywhere are liars. I'm figuring that out right now. Each stride I take driving me closer and closer to home. My lungs burn with each breath and my whole body screams at me to slow down but I don't dare let myself. The quickly rising sun beats on the back of my legs making this experience even worse.

            I once read a book about a runner. The author described running as peaceful, that after running she felt refreshed, and that with each step she took it made her feel stronger. So when I laced up my runners this morning that was what I was looking for. I wanted to feel that peace and strength that supposedly came with running. Except that was not what I found. Instead as I cut across my lawn to make my run shorter I feel as though death is breathing down my neck.

             Each breath I take it like trying to breath in fire. My lungs make my breath come out in short puffs that make me sound like a fish out of water. Every muscle in my body screams for me to lie down on the grass and never get up again. It's tempting too. Let the cool blades absorb the tremendous amount of heat that is currently racing through my blood. Except I know better. Outside the sun still shines and that will prevent me from reaching any type of "cool" instead I fight on for the air conditioning my house is currently promising me.
             I sluggishly climb up the steps to my house and quickly close my front door behind myself. I lock the door just for good measure. Sweet refreshing air conditioning rushes over me and through my system. No one is home and I cannot be more great full as I wipe the sweat from my face. I don't need or want anyone seeing me this disgusting. I grab water, making a mental note to take a water bottle with me next time before I head into the shower. I breathe deeply while standing in front of the mirror. I look gross as my clothing sticks to my body and slowly my face turns a dark shade of red. I peel out of my clothing achingly and run myself a cold shower.

               This is not what I was hoping running would be like. I wanted to feel strong and empowered, but instead I have never felt weaker. This is what I signed up for though I remind myself. My mom had been the star athlete on her track team in high school and now I feel that it is my responsibility to follow in her footsteps. My mom in the past has always wanted me to go running with her but now that she's stopped putting pressure on me to run I feel the need to push myself instead. That's what I attempted to do today and look where it got me: A very tired mess of a want to be runner.

                I'm seated on the couch when my father get's home later that evening from work. I've changed into my pjamas even though it's only five in the evening. I know I'm not going anywhere so I figured I might as well. He waves a meek hello to me when he walks in the door before he heads off to his room. I'm already well accustomed this routine already, he's going to spend the night in his room and hopefully I'll see him once more tonight when he comes out for food. The same thing would happen during the school year too and I don't expect anything to change just because it is summer.
As the hours pass my own stomach starts to growl and I help myself to some minute noodles I have stored up in the cupboard. I stir the noodles around in the boiling water waiting for them to go soft. When the three minutes are up I strain the noodles and place them in a bowel before adding the powder. Curling up in front of my laptop I let myself get lost in random videos and my bowl of noodles.

                 Halfway through a video I glance over at my phone and my hand hovers over it for a moment as I debate about whether to text one of my friends. I quickly drop my hand and shake my head, after everything that has happened it feels weird to try and go back to them now. Not after I spent the last five months trying to shut them out. I doubt I can even call them my friends now. I let out a shaky breath before turning back to the video and pressing play again. Summer has officially begun...

     The next morning I hit the asphalt with slightly less enthusiasm as the day before. Now that I know that running is not as uplifting as I was originally lead to believe I'm not nearly as excited to keep running. Although I won't give up, my mother did this and now I will too. Besides I need the exercise, sitting in front of a computer screen all summer is no way to soak up the sun or to spend the summer months that await me. I need to find some normalcy in my life and hopefully running will be the way to achieve that. 

     I prefer to run by myself and without anybody watching which is why I try to stick through the back routes and not along sidewalks where I could potentially run into someone or even worse someone I know. Yeah, I'd rather do my sweating and reddening in the face by myself. Apparently when my mother ran despite her rather athletic abilities she still would get red in the face which means that no matter how fit I get this red faced nuisance will never leave me. Curse genetics.

     As I reach the next stop sign I feel the need to curse again as I approach the only house near mine that has a teenager that also goes to my school. Outside on their driveway lugging football equipment over their shoulders stands Jonathan and his father. Instantly I regret my route choice. Feeling as self conscious as physically possible I pick up my pace and run by his house. I keep my face pointed straight ahead, purposely avoiding any type of eye contact. Although I can't help but feel Jonathan's eyes on me. They follow me all the way to the end of the block where I quickly round the corner and head as far away from him as possible. 

     Jonathan is well known in our area as the school's football star. Only football runs deeper than just the high school team for Jonathan, which is why he trains even outside the school year. Although I've never directly talked to him about it, the rumor that is going around is that he's training to get a full ride scholarship for university so he can someday go pro. Not that I know much about football, it is totally not my thing. I just know about Jonathan because everyone knows about Jonathan. Something else I've never failed to notice about Jonathan besides football is his so called charm. He's one of those people that can charm almost anyone, they cross paths with. You know the type, says all the right things at all the right times. The only reason I even say almost anyone is because I am one of the few proud people never to have fallen for his act. My friends and I took great pride in not worshipping the ground he walked on like the rest of the grade. Or I guess my x-friends now. Whatever. It doesn't really make a difference what I call them anyways because it won't change the fact that I no longer talk to them.

     I return my attention back to my running, pushing myself harder. I slap my feet against the cement with renewed energy, forcing Jonathan and my x-friends from my mind. I don't have time for this I only have one summer to become a runner and I will not waste it on distractions. Flicking my finger against my phone screen efficiently flipping to the next song in my playlist I resign myself to only running and staring at my computer screen for the rest of the summer.

     We don't often get what we want.

Authors Note:

Ugh so first chapter. Let me know what you think. I love feedback. Also I apologize in advance for any type of error I might make about talking about football. Football is not my sport. So sorry if I mess something up. Anyways hope you enjoyed and if you didn't please let me know why so I can make it better. 

Night.

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