Loving can hurt ... sometimes
Tinitigan niya into at...
How will he react?
How will I?
I looked down to avoid the uneasiness i am feeling.Para akong pinag papawisan ng malamig, namamawis narin ang mga kamay ko, nanginginig din ang mga tuhod.Sandy, this is the time i've been planning on, i shouldn't be feeling this, pinlano ko na 'to and i'm sure na hindi ako papalpak.
"Seriously?" narinig kong sabi nya.Agaran naman akong napatingin sakanya, he looked at it, stared.He was about to open it ng nabigla sya sa pagbukas ng pinto.
"Dude ang tagal mo naman." marcus suddenly brag as he came in.
"Ahh. Sorry." sabi niya at binalik ang tingin sa sulat ko.Nagtaka naman ako ng tinititigan nya lang ito, is the envelope i used is bothering him? i don't think nagandahan, nagulat, napangitan sya sa envelope or he's just too stupid that he don't know how to open it? he's making me crazy.
"Ano yan?" sabat muli ni marcus.Kinabahan naman ako dahil napansin parin ito ni marcus, i don't want him to know na may gusto ako kay nathan.Ayokong may makakaalam.Nakakahiya rin kasi kung makikita ng barkada ni nath ang letter na ginawa ko, i made it specially just for him.It wasn't for someone but only him so sya lang dapat ang makakita at makabasa non.
And knowing that marcus is their barkada's joker definitely ipagkakalat nya iyon lalo na't campus nerd ako.
I looked at nathan, wala ba syang balak buksan iyon?
I was just staring at him ng na shocked ako ng i crumple lang ito ni nathan at binato ito sa loob ng kanyang locker at itinangging wala lang ito,"Nothing-- tara na." sabi nito at sinarado ang locker nya bago tinapik si marcus sa likod.Marcus just shrugged at sumunod narin kay nathan.
Lumabas na sila.Para akong nabato sa kinatataguan ko, he didn't even opened it.I felt venus' hands gently patting my back.I looked and smiled at her, i can see the compassion inside her eyes.Naramdaman kong uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko at tila ba nag babadyang pumatak ang mga luha doon.
Hindi ako makapaniwala.
Ganun lang ba kadaling i-snob ang sulat na galing mismo sa puso ko?
Is it just too old fashioned kaya ini-itsapwera na lang?
Does he know i'm the one who did it? naalala ko nalang nung gabing pinag hirapan namin ng bestfriend ko magawa lang ng maayos at representable ang sulat na iyon, then he just crumpled and throw it away? just like that? just so easy like that? i felt my heart broke into pieces, ramdam na ramdam ko ang sakit sa dibdib ko.It's my confession letter for pete's sake.
I stared at my bestfriend, niyakap nya ako at hinagod ang likod ko.Sa yakap nyang 'yon ay tuluyan na ngang pumatak ang mga luhang nag babadyang bumagsak kanina."Ven, i don't know what to do." i cried.
Naasar ako.
Hindi kay Nathan,
Hindi kay Ven,
Naasar lang ako.
Di ko alam kung bakit,
pero gusto kong umiyak ng umiyak ng umiyak at magmaka-awa kay Nathan na basahin nya yung letter ko kahit basahin nya lang.Kasi ipapahayag ko lang naman yung nararamdaman ko eh.Malaman lang nya, okay na ko dun.
