She began to make notes and writing journals on how she felt. She always thought writing would help, but it only helped so much. Until one day she wrote:
I hate myself because I'm not the best. I don't try, my personality is too hyper. I'm a buzz kill. I run away from my problems. I'm alone all the time. I don't have the flawless face like the other girls. I'm too sensitive. I'm not good enough, I like different stuff from my family. I'm left out all the time. I can't do anything right, I'm a klutz, and most of all I'm not me.
I'm not myself anymore I'm lost.
Soon she began to hate herself even more. She began to have a war in her mind . She wrote again saying:
May 11, 2013
No one cares about me , only Jesus does.Only some friends that are at school are only here for me when I'm sad, but when it comes to everything else they do not even come around.I hate it here, I hate it! Why me? Why do I hate it? I hate it!
Love,
My broken self
Later on that day she wrote again.
I hated here all alone. Every day I'm alone I'm stressed nowhere to go, and no one to talk to.
She soon began to hide the things she wrote, because she didn't want her family to find out what was wrong. She wanted to hide that she was depressed. She kept it all in. She thought she would be a stronger person by doing that. In reality, it just made it worse for her, but she couldn't see that. She just wrote:
I want to die, but I couldn't. So, I rather run away from this hell of a life.
Again and again she wrote more sad and depressing things. She wrote more about hating herself and wishing her life would end. Everything she wrote she began to believe. It said her, it hurt her and Soon it became her. A side so dark it did more damage that you could ever imagine
YOU ARE READING
Forever Sad
Non-FictionBased on a true story. Names are changed for personal identity
