watery air and mosquito bites peppered and swollen red. i was never able to sit through class peacefully. the dog died in october, but it wasn't sad. at least, i didn't think it was. at night i would turn over and check if my sister's chest still rose and fell. the ceiling was dyed blue from the night light. we liked to swim and i would feel my tears fill up my goggles every day. my dad was alive and no one died. except the dog, but that wasn't scary. i could dream up a funeral and lose hope when the teacher picked up the phone but i didn't cry when they euthanized the dog. i terrorized myself then and i still do.
