Depressed killer

A miserable life

Dear diary

Another, boring and horrid day ends. As always, max beat me up and took my lunch money. Not like I was going to eat anyways. He punched my left eye and left a huge bruise that others mocked of course and the punched my stomach and kicked my legs out from under me. I'm only 5ft so I'm an easy target but why must he come to me every freakin day. Doesn't he get tired beating the same old bruised face day after day? He told be I was his favorite to beat up because I always cry instantly. After that dreadful yet expected start to my day I went to math to have my teacher look at me with the most judgemental look and he didn't even care that I'm beat up. So much for a safe place, as he said the room would be on the first day. All throughout the day I heard he usual calls. People saying I'm fat, ugly, worthless, stupid and that I should die. I can't deny any of that. It's all true. I thought about suicide but maybe not. I could do it just to prove a point but if it fails I have to put up with pity. I went home and mum and dad are fighting again. They barely even noticed me walk in. Nobody said hi or smiled back to me. Maybe they don't care anymore. It all sucks. I though this week was the start of me not cutting but I can't be clean for more that 48 hours I guess. I cut once in each wrist and thigh. It bled and I watched the blood ooze out. I don't even feel the pain anymore, just like the insults and hunger doesn't bother me. But whatever. I don't care. I feel nothing anymore. I'm numb but who cares. I certainly don't. 

~Meg

"Meg dinner" my mom calls and I toss my diary aside. I don't know why I keep it. It's just so stupid and it doesn't even help. I walk downstairs and slid into my chair. The room is tense. I look at my dad, but he's just glaring at my mom. She's glaring right back. Nobody speaks and they don't stop glaring as they eat. I decide to speak before they die or something. 

"So... Dad, how was work today? Did your coworkers annoy you as always?" I try to go for some humor. 

"Yes they did." My humor didn't work. 

"Mum, how was your day?" 

"Oh it was all right." She doesn't even stop glaring at my father. I don't even know what went on between them. Nobody ever tells me this stuff. 

Nobody seemed to want to speak do to try to ease some tension I speak.

"My day was good too" a lie obviously." Today I got a perfect score on a pop quiz." 

They ignore me. My good grades are rare. This should be impressive. But nothing. 

" I also kinda got beat up by max again." 

Still nothing. Just a fake nod.

"I'm on he verge of death and I'm going to jump in an active volcano". 

A fake nod and nothing. I pick at my food and eat a little bit and then leave. I take a shower and get in bed. I go in Instagram to talk to my internet friends. The only people who understand me like thousands of miles away.  

I'm up until 3am and then I sleep.