When you see me gaze off into nothing, do not call my name.
I am too busy imagining a different life.
When you see me madly scratch my paper, do not ask me what I am doing.
I am trying to kill the voices in my head.
When you see my grip tighten on my hair, do not think too much.
I just want my head to stop hurting.
When you see me playing with my hands, do not tell me to stop.
I am making sure I am still alive.
When you see me walking alone, do not come to my side.
I am probably just trying to calm myself down.
If you ever see bruises on my collar bones, please do not ask me where I got them.
I woke up with them.
If you ever see the scars on my arms please do not assume they were made last week.
They're from another life they just didn't want to leave.
If you ever see my knuckles bleed please do not ask me what is going on.
I am trying to forget about it.
If you ever see my hands shake while they're sitting on my lap please do not make fun of me.
I do not know why they do that.
If I ever come home late do not ask me where I was.
I was busy being me.
If I ever seem distant do not ask me where I am.
I am here, I just don't want to be.
If I ever tell you I don't care do not assume I am playing it cool
I really don't care.
If I ever screw something up do not yell at me.
I will clean up my mistakes.
If I ever hurt you do not hate me.
Sometimes I forget how to be human.
If I ever cry in your arms do not be uncomfortable.
This just means I am comfortable with you.
Please do not ask me if I am okay.
I am never "okay".
Please do not try to figure me out.
I am simple I just like secrets.
Please do not try to hug me or touch me it makes my skin feel like it's burning.
Please do not try to comfort me.
You look stupid.
Just sit beside me, stay quiet, empty your mind.
If I'm ever laying in bed crying, or just being dumb, and I ask you to get out. Don't.
I'm just scared to admit that I need you to hold me when I feel like this.
