Heya guys here's the next part of the story. One more part to go leave me your feedback.
Niall's Pov:
I couldn't say I was disappointed when the first leg of the tour came to a end. Of course I'd miss performing and seeing the fans, But it'd been a long few weeks and I needed some time away. I needed some time to myself. Everybody was still getting used to not having Zayn around. The lads and I were getting used to singing his solos. The fans? They were slowly adjusting to seeing four boys instead of five. It's been difficult but we've done the best we can. We pulled together and continued on. Not saying it was easy but what other choice did we have? Lay down and give up? Throw away everything the fans have done? Let them all down? We couldn't do it. More to the point we wouldn't do it. I'm still struggling without Zayn. I don't understand any of this. I can pretend I do, But really I don't. He owes everyone an explanation. He owes the fans, The lads, Me. Everyday I'm pretending to be alright. I'm faking a smile because I don't have a choice. Part of me is angry with him. I don't want to be angry. I want to understand why he did this, But I just can't. I can't push away all the hurt I feel inside. Love is supposed to be the strongest feeling around. It's supposed to be stronger than anything else. Love knows no boundaries. When two people love eachother they can make it through almost anything. So why couldn't Zayn turn to me? Why didn't he talk to me? All these questions hurt me deep inside. The one thing hurts me the most? Well that's easy. Why didn't he say goodbye?
The plane ride home was hard. Normally I'd have Zayn sat right beside me. We'd have our arms wrapped around eachother. Zayn would have his headphones on and he'd be listening to music I'd never heard before. Music I wanted to turn off because it kept me from sleeping. Now I find myself wanting it. I'd give away anything to hear it again. When we landed back in the UK I didn't really want to stop for the fans. I know how that sounds but I didn't feel like faking a smile. I didn't want to pretend like everything was normal when we all knew it wasn't. I looked at Liam and he was getting ready to go and see them all. If he had the strength to do it then I could too. I took a deep breath and made my way outside, A smile plastered on my face. When we were finished there I jumped into a car and headed home. Finally I could stop pretending.
The entire ride home I was silent. I placed on my headphones pretending like I was listening to the music when truly I wasn't. I just stared out the window watching the world go by. I went over the conversations I'd had with fans at the airport. One girl told me she can barely listen to our music now. She finds it so difficult when she hears Zayn's voice on the track. I said no words to her in reply. Management told us we aren't aloud to talk about it. Although we aren't aloud to talk about it I can agree with her inside my head. Everything she said I completely understood. I feel the exact pain she feels. When performing the songs don't sound right to me anymore. The only difference between the fans and I is that when the song gets to much for them they can turn it off, I have to keep singing. I have to keep performing even though it's killing me inside. When we pulled up infront of my home I quickly jumped out the car and grabbed my bags. The driver helped me carry them up to the door before wishing me a good and relaxing break. I thanked him before pulling my keys from my pocket and placing it into the lock. Once the door was open I carried my stuff inside and breathed in the familiar scent of home. My head looked down to all the letters that were scattered on the floor. I picked them up and began going through them as I walked into the sitting room.
"Niall" I froze on the spot when I heard my name being spoken. I always hear his voice. I imagine it inside my head. The voice is a whisper barley even there really. But this voice was real. This voice was so much clearer. I took a deep breath and looked up. My body went into shock. Zayn was stood there right infront of me. After weeks of nothing. Weeks of complete silence there he was.
