Two Best Friends in Konoha!

Chapter 3

*A few weeks later*
"Yo! Sihu! Wanna watch some 50% Off?" Ember yelled.
"Yeah!" I replied, jumping off of my bed and flying to the couch. We ate popcorn and green tea as we watched all of it. On Nagisa's Christmas Carols, the last video, someone just had to come and knock on the door.
"What?" I answered the door to see a random boy standing there. He had brown hair with bangs that hid his eyes, though I did get a peek at them and one was brown, and looked like the innocent version of Lloyd from Ninjago Spinjutsu, but with brown and oranges instead of blond and green.
"Holy shit! Ember, it is a Lloyd look-alike, but with a color swap!" I yelled. Ember ran towards and looked at the boy.
"He is from Suna" Ember said. I looked at his neck and noticed what she said is true. He might betray us...but he looks too weak and shy.
"I-I-I'm Tadao! I was told that I could stay here with three other Suna folk! I hope we get along!" He said in one breath.
"Holy shit...We gotta clean!" I panicked.
"Were you not informed?" Tadao asked.
"Shit! Why didn't anyone tell us?" Ember said.
"Where will they sleep?" Ember asked.
"You! Tadao! Ember will show you around so you can make time to stall for us! I am gonna go find Naruto to force him to help!" I said before running off. I ran all the way to the spot Konohamaru would run into Kankuro and lucky me saw them there.
"Out of the way Bitch baby!" I yelled. They all looked at me and only Sakura and Naruto were smart enough to actually move before I jumped and kicked Kankuro in the dick. He dropped Konohamaru and grabbed his injured member.
"I told you, to get out of the way" I glared.
"Did you have to kick me/him there?!" Kankuro and Naruto grimaced.
"Sihu!!! Did you really just do that?!" Ember yelled at me.
"Yes. And I called him a Bitch baby" I confessed.
"You can only call Suigetsu Bitch Baby, because he looks like shark week!" Ember said. I snapped my fingers at her in approval.
"Then his new nickname will be....Bitch Booee!" I said.
"Nah, not cool. How about Clown?" Ember asked.
"That is an insult to Allen and Rika though...How about Pretty Boy!?" I asked.
"Can you stop making bad nicknames!?" Kankuro cried.
"Pretty boy is an insult to the pretty boys. How about Sailor Moon Makeup?" Ember asked.
"That is perfect! SMM for short" I grinned.
"Are they ok?" Temari asked Naruto.
"They are foreigners. Not originally from Konoha...What is your village called again?" Sakura asked.
"I think it was 'Merica" I replied.
"Or land of the douchebags" Ember nodded.
"W-W-Wait up!" Tadao heaved.
"Oh yeah....I forgot about him" I said.
"We literally met him five minutes ago!" Ember punched my head.
"Ok, where is your logic? If you hit someone, they become dumber because you kill brain cells! I am already stupid enough!" I said.
"Says the one that got better grades than me in the academy" Sakura grumbled.
"Ok one, Pinkette, shut up! Two, go train!" I scolded.
"How about you?!" Sakura asked.
"We have plans today, also Naruto, we are sleeping at your place while the Suna people are in town" Ember said.
"Huh?" Kankuro asked.
"Yep. Tadao and three other Suna people are staying at our apartment, so now I have an excuse to build beds!" I grinned like a madman.
"Don't you already have two in your room?" Naruto asked.
"Excuse me, I have my bunk bed with only the top bunk and a extra mattress. Add mattresses to the list of things we need" I told Tadao.
"I really don't want to bunk with these losers" Kankuro sighed.
"Don't worry! Worst case scenario is you die, and best case scenario is, you live and find a single lady to put a ring on!" I slung one arm around his shoulder.
"You just kicked him down low and now you are friendly?" Temari asked.
"Yes, for he was bullying a child and now I feel bad for possibly taking away his chance of being a father" I replied.
"Only way you could do that is if you somehow destroyed something and he would die of eternal bleeding....or peeing blood" Ember said.
"So if you start peeing blood or die, I am sorry. I will think before kicking a guy there again...probably" I said.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked in the tree.
"I am being friendly and weird!" I replied.
"That is normal though...." Ember said.
"Fight me!" Kankuro said to me.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you just hurt me and I need to pay you back" Kankuro said.
"Ember~ beat his ass for me" I begged.
"No" Ember replied.
"But I don't wanna fight anyone!" I whined and fell to the ground.
"...She is weird" Temari said as I rolled around.
"Kankuro, Temari, we need to find this place" Gaara showed up.
"Oh my gosh" I said, jumping up and running behind Ember.
"Why are you behind me?" Ember asked.
"It is the holy Panda Cookie" I said. Ember looked over and almost broke out fangirling.
"What is wrong with you two? Oh, Gaara. Y-Yeah, ok" Kankuro said, looking at his bro.
"Wait, why are you here?" Sakura asked.
"Bitch, they are here, for the Chunnin Exams. Now go read a book cause you obviously need to update your brain" I sassed her.
"At least the weird one is smart" Temari shrugged.
"Who are you?" Sasuke asked.
"Me?" Temari asked.
"No, the redhead! And SMM said it was Gaara once you baka" I tsked.
"Can you not call me that?" Kankuro asked.
"Nope, that is your name...because I don't know either of your names" I replied.
"I am Kankuro and this is Temari" Kankuro said.
"Ok Kuro-san!" I said.
"...At least it is better than Sailor Moon Makeup, whatever that means" Kankuro sighed.
"Hey, Temari. Can I call you Fan-Girl?" I asked.
"Oh my Jashin, Sihu" Ember broke out laughing.
"No..." Temari replied.
"Now, where are you trying to find?" I asked.
"Um...this apartment complex and this room" Kankuro said, holding the piece of paper to us.
"Tadao, you stupid. You mixed up the rooms. This is the room next to us" I said.
"Sorry!" Tadao cried.
"Good, we don't have to bunk with this crazy chick" Kankuro sighed.
"Hey! Thank you" I said.
"He must like you to call you crazy!" Ember said.
"No! It was an insult!" Temari said.
"Why does everyone say that? Crazy basically means someone not sane or unique. I like being unique! Normal is too boring" I said.
"So...Where is this apartment?" Kankuro asked.
"Hm....Naru-chan! Do you wanna show them, or should I force them to come to a restaurant to eat dango or ramen with us?" I asked.
"I'll just go now" Naruto said before literally leaving dust in his stead.
"Scaring all the boys away, aren't you?!" Kankuro laughed.
"Hm? Actually, once Shikamaru becomes a Chunnin, we decided to go on a date, so I don't scare all of them away. Also, are you hungry? Cause I sure am" I said.
"Now that I think about it, we didn't eat lunch...where do you wanna go?" Ember asked as we began to walk away. The Suna people followed us as we arrived to my favorite place. They served Teriyaki AND taiyaki.
"I'll have an order of chicken teriyaki with double vegetable, extra sauce and fried rice with two eggs. Oh, can I also have seven strawberry flavored taiyaki, three chocolate, two vanilla, a red bean paste and two blueberry?" I asked.
"Of course Sihu, and the rest of you?" The waitress asked.
"The usual" Ember said.
"Um...I'll have a bowl of miso soup and rice" Tadao said awkwardly.
"Mixed Sushi..." Temari said.
"Soba.." Kankuro added.
"Salted tongue and gizzard! Also some roasted chestnuts and Kenchin soup off of the secret menu. Oh, and hamburger steak" Ember and I yelled.
"Huh?" Temari asked.
"We force one person to eat those" I grinned.
"Because someone from home loved them" Ember ended.
"Oh, so what are your names?" Kankuro asked.
"I am Ember, and my middle name is Lilium. We have no last names or clans that we know of" Ember said.
"My name is Sihu which is native american for flower, and my middle name is Sulphur" I added.
"So...what is 'Merica like?" Temari asked.
"Shitty" we replied.
"Huh?" Kankuro asked.
"Should we tell them the rap for it?" Ember asked.
"You can if you want" I shrugged.
"There are hoes everywhere, girls always bitching, people bein' stabbed, nobody happy" Ember rapped.
"You are a terrible rapper. Basically, anyone with money has power. Military is big, lots of debt, unhealthy, lots of technology, everyone is sleeping with everybody, basically all the bad things" I said.
"Oh...then why doesn't anyone else leave?" Kankuro asked.
"Because they can't! Do you know how much it is to get out of the country? I would have gone to Japan" I said.
"Ah, but we are too young. How did we get here again?" Ember asked.
"Magic" I said.
"Ok then" Ember nodded.
"Wait, you don't know how you left your country?" Temari asked.
"Ok, here is what happened. One day, my mom was bitching at me for something stupid. Then I went to bed. When I woke up, I was a little girl and in the woods with Ember" I said.
"And before I went to bed, I got a message from Sihu asking a simple question and I replied, of course. When I woke up, I was with her and a little girl too!" Ember said.
"Must have been a strange jutsu" Kankuro sighed.
"But no one in our nation knows jutsu. Long gone. Just guns, knives and poison" I said.
"And bombs" Ember added.
"Yeah...and cars" I said.
"Why a car?" Ember asked.
"A car killed my dog when I was younger. I was depressed for weeks!" I said.
"Cars are scary" Ember nodded.
"What is a car?" Temari asked.
"Think of a cart. Now imagine nothing pulling it and there is a strange, metal thing that powers it to move. And it is all metal. Minus the inside, sometimes it's leather, but mostly fabric. This car can move faster than a horse, but requires fuel which contaminates the air" I explained as Ember showed them a picture of one.
"Huh...Your country is strange" Temari said.
"We totally like Konoha so much more" I said.
"Yeah, we can kill people without going to prison....probably" Ember added.
"We could only kill people like that if we joined the military and shot guns or something. But now we can stab people" I said.
"Here is your food!" The waitress said.
"Ok, who want's what?" I asked.
"I'll have the soup and chestnuts" Temari said.
"Dibs on the hamburger" Kankuro said. Tadao and the rest of us grabbed our food.
"Here you go Gaara" I said, handing him the gizzard and tongue. He took it silently and started eating it.
"So...Why are you sitting next to him? He could kill you at any moment" Kankuro said.
"Huh? I could kill you at any moment too. So could that cat...I wanna pet that cat. Can I steal that cat?" I asked Ember.
"No, we already have seven cats at home" Ember said.
"But that cat looks really hungry and fluffy" I pouted.
"You won't let me get a dog, so no more cats" Ember huffed.
"The landlord won't allow dogs in" I said.
"Then when we move into that house?" Ember asked.
"You could have an entire room filled with dogs if I get a room filled with cats" I said.
"Deal, take that cat" Ember said.
"You plan on moving?" Temari asked.
"The duckass keeps stalking me!" I screamed.
"Who?" Kankuro asked.
"The guy that was in the tree. Black hair that looks like a ducks ass, black eyes, blue clothes...he is a total duck" I replied as I stuff the cat into my bag.
"I thought he was a total ass" Ember said.
"His ass is too small to be a total ass" I corrected.
"How would you know?" Temari asked.
"Because in the academy you could always hear the fangirls" Ember and I replied in disgust.
"Then, what kind of guys are you into?" Kankuro flirted.
"Ember is into older guys. Tall, dark and handsome. Also, mysterious and a dark past. Oh, and a friend that looks like shark week" I said.
"Sihu...I think he was asking you" Ember said.
"Holy shit! Someone tried to flirt with me? What is wrong with them?!" I panicked.
"She isn't used to flirting, is she?" Kankuro asked.
"Not at all. She likes being the wingman, not the flirted one. She is too dense" Ember said.
"I can hear you" I bit her dango.
"My dango!" Ember cried.
"I will eat your dango and then I will steal your man" I threatened.
"He isn't even your type" Ember said.
"No one can say they wouldn't tap that and have a sexual relationship. That man is too perfect" I said.
"I thought you promised a date with this, Shikamaru" Temari asked.
"I did, but I must tease Ember about her little weasel! She has more dibs on that man than me, and I have never really developed a actual crush on him. More like he is too perfect for me" I said.
"Now, what is your dream guy?" Kankuro asked.
"My dream guy?...hm....someone who doesn't mind my insanity or obsession with cats...Handsome...no facial hair, like a beard or mustache..." I said as I thought.
"So Sebastian or Greece?" Ember asked.
"Greece isn't my type, but Sebas-chan is amazing...too good for me. Something just isn't right. More like Ciel and America. I have a thing for spiky haired characters" I said.
"Just rant on about all the anime guys you like, I will elaborate what they have in common or why you most likely like them for these people" Ember said.
"Well, there is Ciel, America, Shikamaru, Kiba, Noiz, Killua, Kurapika, Ace, Karma, Zoro, Law, Jean, Marco, Armin, Hakuryuu, Panda-chan, Kuroko, Akashi, Sassy, Brick, Ryuu, Io, Kenma.." I ranted.
"So she likes two basic types mostly. One is the lazy, but smart kind of attractive guy. The other is the guy who acts tough but can actually be a really marshmallow. The other group is acts tough, is tough, but has adorable or cute little quirks. Kankuro, you are not in any of these groups" Ember said.
"Aw man" Kankuro said.
"But, Gaara and Tadao have a chance. Because they are both very quiet at the moment" Ember said.
"Don't fall for Gaara, he will kill you in a second" Kankuro said.
"I doubt that. Not that I am looking down on you. I never do that unless the person is acting like a total bitch. But I doubt it because I have done nothing to harm you or threaten any of your rights as a person" I said.
"Why do you like Zoro and Law?" Ember asked.
"Well...Zoro is really cool with his three sword style, but his past is a bit sad and when he just randomly falls asleep is adorable. Law...appearance mostly. And his sad past. And trying to defeat the big pink bird guy" I replied.
"But Doflamingo killed his dad and brother to become ruler of Dressrosa and be a royal asshole and killed lots of other people for the same reason. Even had toy slaves" Ember said.
"He may act sadistic, but he has to feel sad sometimes, because he is human too...even though he ate a devil fruit, he is still a sadistic surgeon and he needs sleep. You know what I'm talking about" I said.
"Yeah. Wanna know where he lives?" Ember asked.
"A yellow submarine" I laughed.
"Do you want anything to go?" The waitress asked.
"Yes, could I have a dozen strawberry taiyaki, a dozen chocolate, a dozen vanilla, a dozen blueberry, three mixed berry tarts, and five large chicken teriyaki with extra sauce, double vegetable and fried rice?" I asked.
"And 15 sakura mochi, a dozen of all the different dango flavors, a dozen servings of mixed sushi, oden, three bowls of top five flavors of ramen, sweet curry rice, seven different flavors of onigiri, a hotpot with lots of meat, omelet rice and three sweet puddings?" Ember added.
"And a hotpot with only vegetables and lots of them!" I said.
"How do you guys eat so much?" Temari asked.
"Huh? Oh, we share with Naruto too" Ember said as I ordered lots of other things.
"And how do you afford all of it?" Kankuro chuckled.
"We have part time jobs. Sihu teaches yoga and eco-friendly crafts along with cooking, and I teach some martial arts techniques and massages" Ember replied.
"Ok, here is your bill" The waitress said.
"Here is my card" I said, giving it to her.
"So you are ninja, and have two-three part time jobs?" Kankuro asked.
"Well, yoga lessons are twice a day and everyday for a week, eco-friendly crafts are only three days a week and cooking classes are on the weekends...so really all together, they are only one part time job" I replied.
"Huh?" Temari asked.
"In 'Merica, a part time job is 30 hours or more a week" Ember replied.
"Oh..." Temari nodded.
"And here is your food!" The waitress said as she sat down all of the boxes.
"How are you gonna take that to your apartment?!" Kankuro panicked.
"Simple, we carry it. Duh" I said, lifting up most of the boxes.
"Are those all the vegetables and your sweets?" Ember asked.
"Of course, you meat lover!" I said asked she lifted hers up. My load lessened and I looked over to see Temari, Kankuro and Tadao holding some boxes.
"How often do you do this? These are heavy" Kankuro asked.
"Once a month, once every other week if it is the winter though" Ember replied. Suddenly I felt nothing at all and noticed the boxes and bags were all gone. No one else was holding anything and we looked around.
"Oh, thanks Gaara" I said, looking up at the sand carrying them.
"I'm surprise Gaara is even helping" Temari mumbled.
"Your nickname is now SandCat" I said, patting his head.
"Kuroko rule number seven!" Ember yelled and I took my hand off his head.
"What is that rule?" Temari asked, still shocked from me touching Gaara and not getting killed.
"Kuroko rule number seven is...Don't you dare touch, my motherfucking hair" I replied all sassy like.
"Ok..?" Kankuro said.
"Sihu's number one rule is never touch her flowers or her food if she is eating it" Ember said.
"Why is that?" Temari asked.
"I learned the hard way. Tried to take one of her taiyaki and I swear. She looked more terrifying than a pure black Koro-sensei" Ember said. I put a hand to my heart and looked to her.
"That is so kind of you to say" I said.
"Who is Koro-sensei?" Kankuro asked.
"A fictional character. This is what he looked like before experimentation....and this is after" I said, showing him my phone.
"What is this?" Temari asked.
"My phone. It is my precious" I said.
"How did he change so much?" Kankuro asked.
"The experiment was very drastic...somebody had to kill his girlfriend and then her younger sister and all of her classmates are trying to kill him, but then they try to save him when they find out his past after a big fight. And now they are going to space bitch!" I said.
"That escalated quickly" Ember said.
"I wanna go to space...wait, no I don't" I said, after remembering Naruto: The Last.
"So...Where is our apartment?" Temari asked.
"Here" I said, pointing at their door.
"How did we get here so quickly?" Kankuro asked.
"It is only a block away from that restaurant, now Gaara. We can take the food. Thanks for helping" I said. Gaara dropped all the food in front of our door before disappearing with his sand.
"So...What are some things we can do while in Konoha until the Chunnin Exams?" Temari asked.
"Train, eat, sleep" Ember said.
"Go to the movies, prank people, cook, stuff like that" I added.
"How about we train together?" Kankuro offered.
"Should we tell them?" I asked Ember.
"Nah" Ember said.
"Tell us what?" Temari asked.
"Our chakra natures and jutsu" Ember replied.
"That doesn't matter, let's go train!" Temari said.
"Ok, after we put this food away...I am totally taking some sushi and taiyaki with us" I said.
"As long as I get my dango" Ember said. We put the rest of the food away and came out with a bag each.
"So...What do you wanna start off with?" Kankuro asked.
"Tai" I replied, eating a strawberry taiyaki.
"Huh?" Temari asked.
"Taijutsu" Ember said.
"Oh, so you go Tai for Taijutsu, Gen for Genjutsu and Nin for ninjutsu?" Kankuro asked.
"Yeah, jutsu is annoying if we can shorten in to three letters" I said.
"Ok, let's begin then" Temari said as she charged at us. I put on my headphones and my music started playing. Whenever she try to hit me, I dodged it with different dance moves.
"What are you doing?" Kankuro asked.
"I am dance dodging" I replied.
"She is listening to music and that helps her create a beat" Ember explained. Temari caught onto the hint and punched me after a third mis-rhythm hit.
"I got this" I said as I moonwalked away.
"Sihu...Why don't you try wrestling?" Ember asked.
"Ok, or I could do that move from AOT" I replied. When Temari tried to punch my face, I dodged, grabbed her shoulder and pushed her down when I kicked the back of her knees.
"AOT Annie edition" Ember hollered.
"Your turn" I said. Ember charged at Kankuro and forced him to the ground. These two weren't going all out, probably because they don't want to reveal their plan.
"How about ninjutsu now?" Temari asked, holding out her fan.
"Sure, maybe I could try that weird thing" I said to Ember.
"That thing? Oh, I get it now. Do it" Ember nodded. I charged at Kankuro and when he hit me down with his puppet, I let my spirit fly out of my body.
"Holy shit, did I knock her out?" Kankuro asked.
"Kankuro!" Temari scolded before Ember charged at her.
"Fire Style: Fireball jutsu" Ember said. Temari used her fan to let the flame out right as I went into Kankuro.
"Wow, your mind is smaller than Ember's" I said.
"Who said that?" Kankuro asked. I went to his eyes and noticed he was looking everywhere.
"I am the Kyuubi~! Now, why are you bothering my host!?" I said in a low voice.
"Don't tell me the seal got loose on the Kyuubi!" Kankuro panicked and he looked at Temari. She looked at him with a shocked expression before she masked it.
"Sihu, don't scare them too much. The Kyuubi is sealed tightly right now. Now get out of his head" Ember said. I flew all the way to the voice controls and turned it onto manual.
"But I wanna see if I can possess somebody!" I protest.
"Sihu?..Is in his head? What kind of jutsu is that?" Temari asked.
"We don't know! She just did it one day while meditating" Ember said. I flew around and came to a rather dusty looking area. I pushed a random button and Kankuro fell over.
"Why did you fall?" Temari asked.
"I don't know..." Kankuro answered.
"Mwahahaha! I have found the button to make you fall!" I laughed before pulling two levers at the same time.
"Why are you marching?" Temari sighed. I flew out of his body and back into mine as he fell again.
"Sihu! How did you do that?" Ember asked.
"I found a dusty area in his head, pushed a button and he fell!" I laughed.
"Is that some kind of kekkai genkei?" Kankuro asked as he rubbed his head.
"I don't know" I shrugged. Gaara then showed up and he looked pissed.
"Did you forget our mission?" Gaara asked.
"G-Gaara, calm down. We were just training" Temari said.
"Chill...Do you think I could do it to him?" I asked Ember.
"Do it!" Ember said.
"Don't do it! He'll kill you" Kankuro said.
"Do what?" Gaara asked.
"I'm gonna do it, Ember if I die, do something for me" I said.
"I would do anything for you" Ember said.
"I want a sweet viking funeral and burn incense every once in a while" I said as I slipped out of my body. I flew at Gaara and got in his head. I looked around and saw Shukaku personally. His mind was very dark.
"How did you get in here?!" Shukaku yelled.
"I have no clue! But I wanna try possessing the panda you overgrown sand cat!" I said.
"Who are you calling a sand cat!?" Shukaku yelled.
"Bitch, shut your mouth! I know everything! I also know nothing! Now stop bullying this panda before I start singing Justin Bieber songs!" I said.
"Get out of here!" Shukaku jumped at me and clawed me.
"Fuck! That hurt! Now stop bullying the red panda! Or else!" I threatened.
"What will you do? Cry to your mommy?" Shukaku taunted.
"I'll tell the hokage about the plan to take down Konoha! Or maybe I should call the people with the Gido statue! Or maybe I will put a seal on top of this crappy seal so you can't get out! I could go on you Sand Cat" I said.
"How did you know the plan?!" Shukaku hissed.
"Shukaku! I know your name! I know all of the tailed beasts names! Now do you want to make the Sage of the Six Paths sad?! Cause I bet he is disappointed in you for bullying this panda!" I scolded him.
"...You know nothing!" Shukaku hissed.
"Bitch! I know things! Now I'll be right back!" I said before flying out of Gaara and flew into Ember.
"Sihu...What are you doing?" Ember asked.
"I am trying to get you out of your body" I replied. I floated around and found a small version of Ember. I grabbed it and flew out of her body into Gaara's.
"Holy shit! How did I get here?" Ember asked.
"Don't....ask....I am tired!" I gasped.
"...It took a lot of chakra didn't it?" Ember asked.
"Ok! Now I'm good! Shukaku, we know everything!" I said.
"You are originally the Ten Tails but were divided into nine beasts while the husk is stored in the moon" Ember said.
"...I'll leave the kid alone for a week. Only a week" Shukaku said. I grinned and then flew Ember out of Gaara and threw her into her own body. I slowly flew to my body and felt really tired.
"Twenty minutes...you usually last an hour or so" Ember said.
"Food" I said as I ate.
"Wait...you were in Kankuro for twenty minutes, then you went into Gaara for about five minutes, then into me for ten minutes...and then back into Gaara for six minutes...41 minutes all together" Ember said.
"I don't wanna train anymore....I wanna nap and eat" I said.
"That reminds me, who is on your teams?" Temari asked.
"Hm? Only us two. We are team 11 of Konoha. We kind of work with every team" I said.
"Oh...Don't you need three people for the chunnin exams?" Temari asked.
"Hm? I don't know" I shrugged.
"We could totally steal one of your members I bet" Ember said.
"Take the shorty" Kankuro and Temari said as they pushed Tadao forward.
"Show us your fighting style....or else I'll go into your head...After I take a nap" I said.
"You're gonna take a nap?" Ember asked.
"I'm gonna take a nap right here" I nodded before laying down in some grass. In a minute, I was KO'ed.
-Ember's POV-
"How can she fall asleep in front of strangers so easily?" Temari asked.
"To us, you aren't strangers" I confessed.
"How so?" Gaara asked.
"Well, she went in his head and probably saw some memories and we were in your head and saw Shukaku" I replied. All of their eyes widened and then Gaara glared at us.
"How do you know his name?" Gaara asked.
"Well, do you want the long version or the short version?" I asked.
"Short" Kankuro said.
"We know a lot of stuff, and at the same time know nothing" I nodded.
"Elaborate" Gaara ordered.
"We are unable to tell anyone anything else out in open areas, sorry" I said before picking up Sihu and walking away. The other four followed me and Sihu started sleep eating.
"How is she able to eat in her sleep?" Kankuro asked.
"....I don't know?" I confessed. We soon arrived to my apartment and all walked in.
"Shouldn't you wake her up?" Temari asked.
"Wait...She is eating taiyaki. Don't want her to choke" I said while rummaging through my iPod. When Sihu finished and tried to grab another piece of taiyaki, I blasted They Live in You. She shot up and started singing along right away before realizing we had other people here.
"Oh, hi" Sihu said nervously, before sitting down.
"Ok, explain how you know nothing and everything" Gaara ordered.
"Should we tell them?" I asked.
"We haven't told Naruto, so I don't think so" Sihu whispered.
"But we did kind of tell him we can see the future" I said. Sihu nodded and we looked straight into Gaara's eyes.
"We can see some of the future" Sihu said.
"Lie" Temari scoffed.
"And some of the past" I added.
"Like when a certain blond was killed" Sihu noted.
"What was this blonds name?" Gaara asked.
"...What was his name? It was your uncle. I think it started with a Y" Sihu said before going on her iPod and playing her Naruto game.
"It was Yashamaru, right?" I asked, looking at her game.
"How do you know him?" Temari asked.
"We can see the past and some of the future" I replied.
"What happened to him then?" Gaara asked.
"Sihu, would you do the honors? After all, you have what-seen it many times" I asked.
"Ok, long story short the Kazekage, your father, ordered him to kill Gaara. He failed, tried to blow himself up to kill Gaara after his kunai attack failed. Gaara's sand protected him. Yashamaru said some mean things, but I saw something in like, three years, Gaara will learn something new" Sihu explained.
"That is long story short" I said.
"Do you want me to go into detail? Cause I will" Sihu sassed me.
"Do go into detail" Temari said.
"Fine, that same day Gaara felt bad for accidentally hurting a girl and said he felt pain in his heart. Yashamaru gave him some medicine to give to the girl, but she called him a monster and locked him out. Gaara was sad, and began to go home I think. I forgot how he got on top of a building, or which building it was. But anyway, he was very sad. Sad red panda" Sihu said.
"And then?" I motioned.
"I have to explain more? Fine. While Sad Panda was looking at the moon, kunai were thrown at him but his sand protected him. The ninja came out and the sand attacked him. Gaara went to see who was trying to kill him this time and learned it was his uncle, who hated him for killing his sister. When in all actuality, those kinds of people suck. Like, she gave her life giving birth to something, treat that something well you fucking asshole. Of course if you raise a Jinchuriki that way, they will go rogue and start killing people!" Sihu said.
"So you both know Gaara has killed and you still get close to him?" Tadao asked.
"He killed people? Nah, that was Shukaku. Oh, he said he won't bother you for a week by the way" I said.
"How...?" Kankuro asked.
"Wait a minute...If I got in Gaara's head and talked to the sand cat...think I can go talk to Kur-Kyuubi?" Sihu asked me.
"Don't do it" I said.
"But...it is so tempting" Sihu cried.
"You can go into him before that happens" I said, motioning to the second time Naruto leaves.
"Fine" Sihu huffed.
"You know who the Kyuubi Jinchuriki is?" Temari asked.
"We know who all the jinchuriki are...Think we should help when that happens?" Sihu asked.
"Nah, cause I'll be with them" I said.
"No, you will be with your dream man, we should be able to try and help HER" Sihu said.
"Who?" I asked.
"Jinchuriki that wants to make one hundred or one thousand friends" Sihu explained.
"Oh her! But that would totally mess with the flow" I said.
"Girl, you trying to save your man will change the flow, and we are gonna save Sassy and her, got that?" Sihu threatened.
"Who is her and Sassy?" Temari asked.
"And who is your dream guy?" Kankuro asked.
"We are unable to tell you or else it will mess with the flow too much" We said at the same time.
"But..." Temari asked.
"Don't worry, you will know her when the time comes...about a year or two from now. Gaara will meet Sassy in three years, and I have no clue when you are gonna meet her dream guy" Sihu said.
"But you said save....does that mean she is gonna die in the future?" Tadao asked.
"...Should we?" I asked.
"Let's not tell them" Sihu said.
"Wait, then do you know why we are here?" Kankuro asked.
"Should we tell them?" Sihu asked.
"If we do..." I replied.
"We may be able to help him" Sihu said.
"But then that wouldn't happen" I said.
"If only we could put the people who are gonna die into a thing to prevent their deaths until that is over..." Sihu said.
"How long do you need for that?" Temari asked.
"Five-six years" I replied.
"But they can't be sealed" Sihu added.
"And he has to die that way or else it will really mess with the flow" I said.
"Then your dream guy must die" Sihu said.
"No, I'll just make it seem like he died and get contact lenses for when that happens" I cried.
"You're right...but that guy still needs to die" Sihu sighed.
"You can control lives and you aren't saving anyone?" Kankuro asked.
"Shut it, we are planning" I said.
"No, he is right" Temari said.
"One life can save the entire flow, shut up" Sihu said.
"What is the flow?" Tadao asked.
"Flow of time and space" I replied.
"Even though I am the one who usually goes with the flow" Sihu said.
"Then why can't you make a seal?" Temari asked.
"Because, we can't tell you" Sihu said.
"Yo!...Why are they here?!" Naruto panicked as he crawled through our little wall door.
"Get out brat" Kankuro said.
"Oi, bully Naruto and I will cut off your dick" I said.
"and I force you to eat it" Sihu grinned darkly.
"...No" I said to her.
"But it would be good torture" Sihu cried.
"Um..." Tadao said.
"What?" We asked.
"Kankuro is trying to kick him out" Tadao said.
"Sihu, will you do the honors?" I asked. She nodded and her body went limp right before Kankuro punched himself.
"Get out of my body!" Kankuro said.
"Nope!" He said to himself.
"Cool, she make you say stuff now! Sihu, make him say that line!" I cheered.
"What line?" Kankuro asked.
"That line from the AOT crack!" I said.
"Why, you have the voice of a majestic eagle! Harmonize with me maggot! Ahhhhhh!" Kankuro sang. Sihu went back into her body and sat up.
"If I were to fight Ino...who would win?" Sihu asked.
"That is a good question...should we try to make you develop a second personality?" I asked.
"Well, we don't know if I will die if the body I'm in dies" Sihu said.
"Hm...Just stab her and then leave the body" I said.
"Now if I were to fight Sakura, I would beat her up" Sihu said.
"But she has inner" I said.
"But I am a better fighter than her" Sihu added.
"Thank you Hinata, for training with us without holding back" I said.
"You are both insane" Kankuro said.
"Whoever said we were sane?" Sihu and I asked at the same time. I just noticed Gaara had left along with Tadao....they must have been overwhelmed by our insanity.
"Now I will eat even more food" Sihu said.
"How are you not fat?" Temari asked.
"One of the only good things about 'Merica. Some people have metabolisms so high, I can eat a cake seven times my height" Sihu grumbled as she ate another taiyaki.
"Well....we will be going now" Temari said before walking off with Kankuro.
"If you ever need help with the area, just ask!" I yelled out the door.