i give up on everything, i have no one anymore,no family, no friends, and no one to love me like i love them. the one person i do actually care about, i lost her and now she's happy with some other guy that i wash was me. I always hurt her or upset her in some sort of way, i always say something wrong and then it ends badly. i wish i could go back in time to when we were together, when we were happy before the mishap. now it's so hard to even talk when all i want to do is pull her in, kiss her and just make her mine again but i know that's not gonna happen, she's happy so i'll stay out of it because i don't deserve her anyway. she doesn't know but my problems are worse. cutting, smoking, drinking, and all of them came back and hit me like a bus, she hasn't seen my scars. maybe if i actually killed myself things would be better. i wouldn't worry about hurting her, i'd watch over her ad protect her, the things i can't do now.... if i do kill myself and someone realizes who is writing this don't cry if i die. i have done everything i wanted to do in my life time except two things i can now never do because my opportunity, well i let go of it. i made so many mistakes i should just go already... i'm useless anyway i'm sorry
