Marble Hornets/THAC One Shots

When You're Gone (Timlex)

WARNING: It's not smut, but it's definitely suggestive. Just read the first sentence XD

~

Alex slowly pumped up and down, his shaking hands twisting and moving. Up and down, up an down. It was an easy flow, a thing that has become so natural for him. He had been doing this far too much lately. Tim had started to spend a lot more time away from him. It wasn't that Alex was upset about this. He just... missed his company. Yeah, he could go with that.

His lips parted, a quiet moan escaping his mouth. His mouth that hadn't met Tim's in forever. It seemed that way, at least. In reality, it had only been a week or so. A week since he had tasted the cigarette smoke that Tim held behind his warm and inviting lips. He hated the smell of those damned cigarettes. The smoke on his face as Tim jokingly blew the gray-white ribbons towards him. But the taste? God, he could taste it all day.

"T-Tim," he mustered out, almost tasting the smoke in his mouth. He pumped harder, faster, unintelligible nonsense flying up his throat and onto his tongue, breaking free once it reached his lips. He threw his head back, letting out one last breathy and shallow word. A word that was much more than just a word to him. It was must more than just a name. "Tim!" he called out again, finally climaxing.

He kept his eyes closed and his head resting against the back of the chair. Flashes from the screen before him left the darkness on his eyelids ever so slightly illuminated.

He heard the front door of his apartment swing open and quickly - and clumsily, of course - attempted to close the video of an affair from months ago. Of the few videos Alex and Tim used to take, this one had to be his favorite. They worked so well together. They were so synchronized, and the way they looked at each other and communicated... God, he wished he could go back to those days.

He fumbled for the tissues in an attempt to clean the mess he had just made. Time was short, especially since the bedroom door was wide open and Tim was merely feet away from seeing the mess went on every time he left.

Although the said mess was mostly cleaned, there were still a few problems. A) There were balled up tissues with a suspicious white substance sitting in the small trash can next to Alex. B) Alex was naked from the waist down. C) Tim was standing in the doorway, staring at Alex.

Tim flushed a deep red, while all color faded from Alex's face. Tim opened his mouth as to speak, but found himself speechless. So did Alex.

They both sat still, drowning in the awkward silence that ate them up from the inside out. Alex refused to look at Tim. He didn't dare to see his facial expression.

Tim finally spoke up. "Am I... not giving you enough?" His voice wasn't angry at all. He wasn't frustrated. He wasn't even upset. He just felt... guilt. That's all he could feel or would allow himself to feel. The feeling sunk deep inside him, exploring every inch of his body.

"N-No! I just... It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Alex looked down at the ground, ashamed. He leaned down, using his arms to cover his crotch.

"I will worry about it. You're doing it because I've been ignoring you. I know that for a fact."

"That's not why..."

"Then why is it? There's got to be a reason. I mean, we haven't even fully kissed in a week."

"Don't remind me," Alex breathed out, making sure that Tim couldn't hear him. "It's just because, well... reasons, okay? Why are you so desperate to know?"

"Because I heard you, okay?" Tim shouted. "I heard you a couple days ago. You were moaning my name," Tim said uncomfortably as he shifted his weight to one side. "Why don't you just tell me that you need me or miss me? I'm right here, Alex."

"No, you're not! You're never here! you said it yourself, we haven't even kissed in a week!" Alex stood up, completely forgetting his lack of pants. He was too worked up to even worry about it to begin with. It's not like Tim had never seen all of him before. Before being the subject of the sentence. Before he started to leave Alex on his own for hours. Before Alex had to occupy himself. Before he was alone and missing Tim.

Tim looked up at Alex, taking one step forward. Then another. And another. 3 steps was all it took until they were face to face. Tim stared straight at Alex, who's expression was stone cold and unforgiving. Tim looked down, intimidated by the much taller man. The man who deserved much more than him. The man who deserved the world.

"I'm sorry... I've been a real dick this past week. You don't even know where I've been going. I've just been leaving you here, wondering where I've gone and when I'll be back. I don't kiss you goodbye, I don't tell you I love you... I don't know why you even stick around. I don't deserve you. So, just leave, alright? You're too good for me. Hell, you're too good for anyone."

"No."

Alex spoke one word. One word without meaning. 'What is he saying no to?' Tim wondered. 'No to me being a dick? No to me leaving? No to being too good for me or anyone else?'

"What?" Tim questioned, looking up to see that the same expression remained carved to Alex's face.

"No. I'm not leaving."

"Why not? I have so many things wrong with me. I don't deserve you."

"Alright, cut it will the pity party shit. You're not a horrible person. You're fine to me, and I think that's all that really matters." Alex was never one for compassion or understanding. He had tried, he really did, but every word he had thought in his head came out blunt and straight-to-the-point. Tim, however, knew that this has meant so much. He was able to read Alex like an open book.

He tackled Alex, bringing them both down to the bed next to them. Tim held on, refusing to let go. Alex wrapped his arms around Tim, kissing his forehead gently. They stayed like this until they both fell asleep in each other's arms, one exhausted from being out for so long, the other exhausted from, well... having something out so much.