Authors Note: Yeah... I'm not so sure about this chapter. It wanted to fly in a million different directions and occasionally it tried to delve into the utterly bizarre. There's a good chance it might disappoint. Sorry folks! This one truly slipped out of my fingers.
For a long second Harry was too surprised to react. Louis lips were soft and damp and breathtakingly gentle. But then, just as Louis made a move to pull back, Harry found his senses and melted into the kiss, cupping Louis’ cheeks so he could return the gesture twofold. Louis made a little squeaking sound in the back of his throat at the move and his hand tightened into Harry’s hair, clutching him closer.
The desperate tug at his curls was the proverbial dam breaker. A need and a hunger surged up within Harry, making his heart pound in his chest and suddenly nothing was enough.
Louis seemed to agree because he was frantically pulling on Harry’s shoulders while pushing up on tiptoe in order to reach him properly, his lips insistent.
When Harry felt his back bump into the edge of the breakfast bar, he realised things were getting a little out of hand and forced himself to pull back, completely breathless.
“Lou,” he croaked. Louis whined and tried to pull him back down into another kiss but Harry resisted. “Lou,” He protested again, not retracting his grip but leaning back, all the same, to keep the distance, “you need to stop if you’re not sure. I… I can’t be a rebound for you.”
“I’m sure,” Louis insisted, ducking in again.
Harry gently pushed him back, “Lou.” Louis sighed and stepped back, looking Harry right up in the eye and said, “it’s been two years since Stephen, you’re not a rebound Haz. I… I’ve wanted this for quite a while actually. I just wasn’t sure you wanted it too. Every time I’ve tried to initiate a moment you’ve always pulled back – just like now.”
Harry bit his lip, “I’ve wanted this since the moment I met you.” Louis’ face lit up but Harry had to be the voice of reason, he had to make Louis understand. “But after what Stephen did to you, I’m not sure you’re ready for anything serious yet and… I want this to be serious.”
Louis’ expression tightened and he pressed closer, lifting up on his feet to try and make them equal size so they could look eye to eye. It was the first time that Harry realised that their height difference might make Louis’ vulnerability look greater than it truly was. “Why wouldn’t you think I’d want anything serious?” the young teacher asked carefully, “I was with Stephen for 14 years, I can definitely do serious.”
“That’s my point though,” Harry replied softly, not wanting this to descend into an argument - not on today of all days, “after the way Stephen treated you considering how long you were together, I wouldn’t have thought you’d want to jump into another long-term relationship. I mean, I know I would be reluctant in your shoes.”
Louis swallowed, never once dropping his incisive gaze, “But Harry, and I mean this in the best possible way, I’m not you.” He shook his head fervently, “The way I see it is I have a lot of wasted time to make up for and I need someone who is kind and patient and willing to show me how those fourteen years should have been spent.”
“I…” Harry felt himself shrink down a little as he realised that maybe Louis wasn’t as unavailable as he thought and perhaps that was a little scary too. “I just… I need you to be able to trust me, Lou, when I tell you I care about you.” He insisted, not sure why he was suddenly trying to find reasons to discourage this. “I don’t think I could handle you constantly wondering if or when I’ll turn into Stephen. I’m not him and I could never hurt you like that.”
