Just a Feeling

Chapter 6

                          Me- You didn't overhear our conversation, right?
                          Brady- No, why? Anyone you're crushing on?
Me-|
I just stare at the screen for a very long time. How am I supposed to respond to that? If I say yes, and he likes me, he might feel rejected. If I say no, and he likes me, he won't know that I like him. Why is this so complicated? I decide not to respond. Maybe we can start a new conversation tomorrow, he'll probably forget, even though he'll still see the question unanswered.

To take Brady off my mind, I log onto Instagram.
I go under my notifications. I scroll down, and stop to stare at a comment on one of my posts.
"That's creepy. Your ugly btw, my butts prettier then your face."
What the heck? Haters. They can't even spell correctly. I roll my eyes, and type back.
"Please, don't make me laugh. You can't even spell right, so I can't understand your language."

I take a deep sigh, and log off. That's really not what I need right now. I guess I'm stressing over school more than I should be.
I roll over on my bed, and gently close my eyes. I'll just take a nap to forget everything. Maybe dream about Brady. Not that it's ever happened. I just keep hoping.
I wake up to the smell of rice cooking. I inhale that hypnotizing smell of onions, and rice. It must be almost time for dinner.
I walk, as if a zombie, out of my room and close the door. Mom always asks to have the doors closed when she's cooking,
because if they're not, the rooms will smell like food.
I take slow steps, each foot pounding the carpeted stairs with my weight. The stair rail is squeaking, as if to say, let go! And so, I let go. I hear loud conversations coming from the kitchen. I see that Lohanna, and Dad are seated, while Mom finishes setting food on our round, glass table.
No one notices me, so I eavesdrop from the last three stairs.
"She seems depressed.", I hear my mom say from the kitchen. Silence.
Wait. Was she talking about me? That's why they didn't wake me up yet.
When no one answers, I step inside the kitchen, still no one notices me. Ahem, I clear my throat. They all look back at me with wide eyes.
                                                          "Oh," Mom says with a tight smile, "you woke up."
                                                    "Yeah..." I say suspiciously. "Why didn't anyone wake me up?" 
                                                "Uhh...Lohanna was just going to, but now she doesn't need to. Right Lo?" She looks at
                          Lohanna with a face that says, You better say yes, or else. She looks at me, and then back at Mom. "Yes,"
                         she says assure of herself. "Okay," Mom says brightly. "Let's eat!"
I slowly sit down, eying Mom suspiciously. What does she mean? I don't feel like asking what's going on, so I do as Mom says, and eat.
Tonight we are having white rice, black beans, and bakes chicken. Brazilian style. I pretty much inhale my food, no one can cook like my mom. I know almost everyone says that about their moms, but trust me, it's to die for.
"How was school?" Mom asks as she takes a bite of chicken. "Eh, school is just school I guess, nothing interesting," I reply. "Really? Did you make any new friends?" I'm not the one to start a friendship, I just let the people come to me. "Not really....same people from last year." I've been so attached to Katherine, that I didn't even bother making any new friends. I like sticking to the old ones, but somehow, I always end up making a new friend anyway.
                                                      I finish dinner before everyone else, and rush to the living room.
        "Already done?" Dad shouts from the table. I always take seconds, but I just couldn't wait to continue my conversation with Brady.
                   "Yeah, I guess I'm just not that hungry today," I half lie. Then, before my curious parents ask any more questions, I flash upstairs and lock the bedroom door. My heart is pounding against my chest. A little bit because I ran so fast, but also because whenever I talk to him, he gives me a sense of joy. I type in my not-so-secure password, but there aren't any new notifications. I check where our conversation ended.
                       Oh. Yeah. He's the only person I talk to, besides Kathrine. I've always been jealous of the girls who have boys as their closest friend. I can never seem to have a close relationship with any boy. Maybe I try too hard, but I'm not giving up that easily. I have a good feeling that I have a chance with him.
I head back downstairs, clearly disappointed. Like they say, good things come to those who wait. If he's the one I have to wait for, it's worth it. Perfect is overrated, but I've never met anyone so perfect like him before. He knows how to treat a girl, but I can't make the connection just yet. I've laid out all the hints possible, I can't keep hinting him any longer without being so obvious. I remember the last time I had been so open with my innocent feelings. Big mistake. The boy didn't keep it to himself, and decided to tell everyone he know about the stupid note. As I look back, I don't even know what I was doing. I'd never do something like that again, I kept reminding myself. I wasn't hurt by what he did, because at the time I didn't realize I didn't even actually like the boy. It didn't matter at the time, I thought that because I thought he was cute, he was my crush. I feel like traveling back in time and yelling at myself for the naiveness. Never again.
I suspect that Brady is different, but I'm not taking any chances. As perfect as he can be, he's quite peculiar. Very shy if you ask me, and I'm not very patient with shy people. I'm afraid I might scare him away with my eagerness towards him. I inhale deeply through my nose, and exhale for ten seconds. I seriously need to forget about this, I don't want it taking over my head.