We manage to walk away from the school in silence. I don't know how to talk with him without having a hint of adoration in my voice. He just has that effect on me.
"So....how was the first day back?" I start.
"Pretty okay I guess." he says. This is the thing about him that annoys me the most. He can't keep a conversation going and that makes me struggle even more talking to him. It's like he's sociopathic.
I have to say something again so this doesn't make it awkward.
"I can't believe we have Mrs.Hess twice a day. Isn't that insane?" I ask a bit over-dramatically. I notice his mouth parts to respond, "Yeah....I know right? I don't think I can wait to get out of this school much longer." I didn't mean it like that, but........"Yeah, I totally agree." Is that all I can say?
We haven't spoken since the last day of 7th grade. Our conversation now consists of Kik.
I just keep staring forward while we walk. What else can I say to him?
"Do you like your new classes?" I ask with a dumb grin on my face. Do you like your new classes? That's never gonna get me anywhere with this boy. This shy, intelligent, kind,--
"Yeah,sure. We share most of our classes so, you know." he says. NO! I DONT KNOW! I want to say to him. I don't know what he thinks I know.
"Um....yeah. So....do you have art class this term?" Since I don't have specialist with him, it's genuine of me to ask him. I don't have art this term, which I'm bummed about. As much as I love music, I don't like music class. It's boring, and we always learn an easy song on the keyboard. An instrument I already know how to play. That makes art, my favorite class. Something Brady, and I have in common. I remember we were both in the same art class last year. It's when I started to develop feelings for him. I happened to notice the drawing of his sneaker--we were supposed draw our sneakers, and then create one--and I thought it was so neat and better than mine. It was unusually cool because boys in my school aren't very talented when it comes to using a pencil. Or ANY writing utensils for that matter. Anyway, I was astonished and complimented him on his drawing, that's where it took off. That's a story I'm saving for another time.
"Yeah, I had it today actually."he responds. "Really? You're sooo lucky. What are you guys
gonna be working on?" I ask with interest.
"I dunno, but we're gonna start with grids." he says. "Cool. Do you know who you're
gonna draw yet?"
"I dunno, maybe some basketball player." "Oh, yeah, that makes sense, 'cause you like
basketball."
"Um, yeah."
Our conversation is coming to an end when we turn left and start walking on the very small sidewalk that leads to Katherine's house and Brady's. When we come up to her house, I can see that, sure enough, her mom's green Camry is parked in their driveway. We stay silent as we cross the street to his house, and I say, "Bye" and give a friendly wave. "Bye" he says back in his low, deep voice.
I continue walking straight until I reach the path to the backyard of the condos. I turn around and take a peek at his house. He's still there, checking his mailbox and walks up the steps to his house, and immerses inside. That's my cue to do the same. I keep on walking and approach an open, small patch of grass that leads to my home. I notice that the tree that sits in front of my house to the left, is starting to lose its leaves. It's only early September, around next week the leaves will start to change color.
I take the three short steps to my door and take out the house key. I've lost my house key at least twice. I don't know how I end up losing it, but when I do, I keep quiet until my dad finds out and makes a new one for me. Until then, I use the spare in the mailbox. For now, I have mine and unlock the door. I hear Minnie barking like a baby Doberman, ( even though she's a miniature pinscher ) and yell out, "Cala a sua boca!" Portuguese for, "Shut up!" We got her from Brasil about seven years ago. So technically, she understands a bit of Portuguese and English. Just because she understands doesn't mean she obeys. She keeps on barking, even though I've closed the door, and she knows it's me, and I walk to the laundry room, with a bug spatula and pretend to sway at her. She stops instantly and walks to her small house. "That should shut you up."
I set my backpack down on the couch, and go to the kitchen to grab a snack before I leave. I decide on a snickers and pull my boots back on and walk out to pick up my sister
*
"And I saw my friends. There's this annoying boy in my class who won't stop laughing." My sister wouldn't stop talking about her first day, so when I couldn't take it anymore, I said, "Well I have Mrs.Hess. If you think I had a good day, think again." Then I turn around and ran to our room and close the door.
I would eventually have to get out, because we're supposed to eat something when we get home. She's my responsibility for the next hour.
I'll probably just go on my tablet and post something on Instagram. Wait.....mom took away my tablet. For two weeks. Great. How am I supposed to have a social life with nothing to socialize with? The only thing my mom has never taken away from me, is TV.
I hop down the stairs and land with a thud on the wooden steps. My sister's watching Disney Channel. It's better than having her watch Dora. I quietly approach her on the couch. She doesn't even turn her head the slightest to acknowledge me. The remote is hanging between her fingers. While she stares at the screen, I stealthily take the remote from her tiny hand, and type in, 60, and sit back.
"HEY!", she shouts. "Hey," I respond with a smile. "Why did you change the channel?", she asks. "Why? You want to know why I changed the channel?" She nods her head. "Okay. See this?" I wave the remote. "This, is a magical wand that has the power to change the channel. Not just change the channel, but a billion different things with.....45 buttons." She gives me a glare. "So the answer is, because I have the power to change channels, and I don't like Disney channel, I. Changed. The. Channel." She swats at me.
"Give me the remote!", she whines. "PLEASE." I dash upstairs with the remote and lock the door to our room. "COME AND GET IT," I yell. I hear her bashing the door with her small body. She only weighs 48 pounds. It would take 5 of her to knock this door down.
"Open." Bang. "The." Bang. "DOOR!" Bang. I don't know why we argue over the dumbest things. Why even bother? So I wait, and open the door all the way, just as she is about to bang the door again. She throws herself onto the floor ( thanks to me ) and I laugh hysterically.
"Give me the remote!", she cries. This is too funny not to laugh at. "Here," I place the remote on the floor next to her. "Why didn't you just say so?" I walk away laughing, and I hear her crying. Such a baby, I think. It's not like my friends' sisters cry over TV.
When Lohanna comes downstairs again, she sits at the other end of the couch. I stare at her, and give her my biggest smile. She ignores me, and has a pouty face, along with dried tears, and red eyes. Jeesh. For a remote? I wonder if she's going to tell mom. I certainly hope not. If she does, I think my mom will understand that, crying over a remote is not a big of a deal.
I decide to call Katherine to forget about today. She doesn't pick up. That was expected. So I call mom instead, just to make things clear, and tell her that we're home, and safe.
Dad gets home at about 5:30, so we have dinner at the table tonight. "How was your first day back?," mom asks between bites.
"Eh....it was alright." I focus on eating my dinner. My mom is the best cook and baker ever. Might as well get an award for it.
"Was it bad?," she asks concerned.
"No mom....," I start to say hesitantly. "It's just that, I have Mrs.Hess for two classes now."
"You're Spanish teacher? I thought you liked her." Clearly, my mother doesn't know me
"NO mom. I ha-," her eyes pop out. "I-she's frustrating. I can't stand her. Nobody likes her."
"I'm sorry Bee." she says apologetically. "You just have to deal with it."
That's not the kind of advice I was looking for. I only told her because she's my mom. I talk to her about everything. Well,.....almost everything.
Brady's not exactly someone I've talked to my mom about. She knows about him, but not that I like him. NO WAY. I would never tell her. She probably knows though, because I've asked my mom to give him a ride home. I have better senses, DONT introduce your crush to your parents.
They don't have to know the boy in the backseat is my crush.
When dinner is over, I go upstairs to my room. Technically, it's not just my room, it's also my sister's. We share the smallest room for two people. We have matching flower bedspreads and beds as well. The room is entirely pink. It couldn't be any girly-er.
I sigh, deeply, and fall on my bed dramatically. I just want to relax after a stressful day. Already I wish this week could be over, but it's only Wednesday. If only I didn't care about perfect attendance and grades, maybe I could stay home tomorrow. I might not love school, but if I want to be successful and happy with good grades, I should always attend school when I can. I don't miss school even if I have a bad cold. I don't give up easily. Some students give any excuse to get out of class. One of them happens to be going to the nurse. I don't go to the nurse even if I have a stomach ache, although it's painful. But I don't go because mostly, I don't like the nurse. She isn't "mean", but she also isn't friendly like my elementary school nurse. Everyone loved her. I know for a fact that if I did go down to the nurse when I have a stomach ache, she'll just tell me to use the bathroom or lay down on the cot. There's no reason to miss class if she can't give me a pill or something to stop the pain.
I check my phone on the nightstand, 9:00pm. I walk like a zombie down the steps, Mom and Lohanna are watching Nemo, no thanks.
"Hey mom" She turns her face in my direction, "Hey Bee, why were you upstairs that long?" There's that concerned look on her face again, "I'm fine Mom, I've just had a long day and I wanna sleep early for tomorrow." She gives me this look as if I'm insane. "Um...okay. Goodnight sweety."
"Night Mom." and I head upstairs again. I never sleep early. I'm an all-nighter, except for when it's late and a school night. We all go to bed at the same time.
I just can't deal with anything right now. So, I tuck myself in, and close my eyes, and finally, drift into a peaceful slumber.
YOU ARE READING
Just a Feeling
Roman d'amourBianca Silva believes in true love. And she believes she's found it. Brandy Newsly, the smart, shy, kind boy at school. She has only one more year before they go to High school, and she believes this is her chance. But when she starts to change, som...
