Flawed ✗ jimberlake

P R O L O G U E

To the world, I was an open book. Everyone knew every single little bit of detail about my personal life; I had a gorgeous, loving wife, whom I had two daughters with via surrogate. The media never failed to squeeze in every detail about me, and eventually I had just given up. Most celebrities, like Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp, like to keep their personal lives...personal. But I didn't need to keep anything away from anyone because I had nothing to conceal. Well, at least that's what the world thinks.

                                 •••

"Hello everyone, welcome back to the Tonight Show!" The audience was delirious; they cheered and clapped, ecstatic for our next guest. "Our next guest is a Grammy-winning songwriter and singer. Here is...Justin Timberlake!" The crowd went wild. The curtains opened, and sauntering out was my longtime best friend, Justin Timberlake. We had been partners in crime ever since he first hosted Saturday Night Live, back when I was a cast member before my comedy career sky-rocketed. I walked over to Justin, shaking his hand and giving him a "bro hug". He was wearing a white button-down shirt with a black dress coat and jeans. His hair was slicked back and he had a few days of growth. I walked back to my desk as he slouched in the navy blue couch.

Once the audience quieted down, I stared talking, "Oh my goodness, what's up dude?"

"Ah man, not much. I'm so glad to see you again, bro!" We high-fived, the audience cheering once again. "I haven't seen you in...how long has it been? Six months?"

"Yeah. But man, we're so glad you're back. So, your 20/20 tour just ended a couple months ago, and you just had a baby! Little Silas!" I slapped my hand down on my desk, indicating my enthusiasm. I could feel my heart beating in my chest; it's been that way ever since I started to feel something...different for him. Of course, I loved him as my best friend, but the past three years my feelings have been amending about him.

"Yes, oh my gosh, Silas is the best thing that has ever happened to me," He shifted in his seat, leaning closer to me. "Jessica is such a great mother. We're absolutely crazy for baby Sil. He is the cutest baby I've ever seen, and he's so precious."

"Wow, that's so great, man. I'm so happy for you."

"And in December, you got little Franny. Gosh, she's gorgeous, isn't she?" Justin's sapphire eyes met mine, sending chills up my spine. "I saw your photos on Instagram, she's so photogenic."

"Yes, she's very photogenic. Winnie has never really been a big fan of taking pictures, but Franny is the queen of pictures. I can't even imagine what her selfies are going to be like when she's older."

"She's gonna be a knockout. Once she grows up, you better clean your gun for the boys that will be chasing her," The audience awed. "You make beautiful babies."

The audience bursted into laughter. I tried to keep a straight face, but started laughing. "Thank you. It's not really that hard, it only takes like...five seconds."

"Easy there," Justin chuckled, running his fingers along his jaw.

                                •••

The interview went on and the musical guest, Justin Bieber sang "Where Are Ü Now", and then I wrapped up the show. I made my way to my dressing room, changing into a plaid shirt button-down shirt and jeans, quickly checking my Instagram, and the hashtag #Jimberlake was everywhere. I giggled before heading to Justin's dressing room to check on him.

"Hey," I peeked my head through the doorway. Justin smiled, walking out of his dressing room to stand by me. I couldn't help but just gaze at him. I could just look at him all day. "Um, do you maybe want to go out for some drinks before you head back?"

"Yeah, sure man. I'm in."

                                •••

We headed to a bar in downtown Manhattan, sitting at the lounge seats. I ordered a Bacardi on the rocks with a splash of coke, and Justin ordered a beer. A few people asked for our autographs and pictures in the process. We talked for a while as I ordered more and more drinks, wanting to swallow down my feelings for him and forget about this whole thing; maybe I was just being paranoid, let alone going through a phase where I'm so convinced that I might be gay for my best friend because he's so alluring.

"You should take it easy on the drinks there, JimBoy," Justin said with a chuckle, taking a swig of his beer. "I'm gonna have to drive you home."

I knew I was drunk already, my vision was blurry and I could barely think straight. "Hey Justin, y'wanna know something?" I slurred, draping my arm around his shoulders. I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I love you," I could feel my lips touch his ear as I spoke.

He laughed. "I love you too, man."

"No, like, I love you. I'm in love with you."

"Dude, you're so drunk."

I didn't even realize what I was even saying until it was too late. I widened my eyes, quickly jerking my arm away. I could feel warmth flooding through my cheeks.

•••

7:34 a.m.

I shot up, looking in every direction to check my surroundings. It took me a minute to let everything sink in; I went to a bar with Justin, I got drunk, and I feel like I did something that I feel remorseful of, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I had a throbbing pain in my left eye from a hangover. I looked to the left side of the bed---where Nancy, my wife, always sleeps---but she was there, but the trace of her body was left unkempt in the bed. I rubbed my eyes, vaguely clearing up my vision. Everything was such a blur.

But then it hit me.

"You should take it easy on the drinks there, JimBoy," Justin said with a chuckle, taking a swig of his beer. "I'm gonna have to drive you home."

I knew I was drunk already, my vision was blurry and I could barely think straight. "Hey Justin, y'wanna know something?" I slurred, draping my arm around his shoulders. I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I love you," I could feel my lips touch his ear as I spoke.

He laughed. "I love you too, man."

"No, like, I love you. I'm in love with you."

"Dude, you're so drunk."

The flashback played like a movie in my head. Anxiety shot off in my chest. I didn't actually say that, did I? Please tell me I'm just going insane.

I looked over to my nightstand, picking up my phone. I turned it on, and there was a notification on my lock screen. It was a message from Justin. I punched in my passcode and opened up my messages.

Justin:

I love you too.