Lisa & Rokko - Missed Chances (english version)

Chapter 17

Lisa had laid the documents for the apartment listings neatly side by side. She ran her fingers over the paper as if she had to remind herself that this decision was real.
For the first time in a long while, it felt as though she was choosing her own direction. She knew her father still saw David as the ideal son-in-law, the man at her side. To him, all of this was nothing more than misunderstandings, small crises any marriage had to endure.
If he knew what had really happened... if he even suspected that David had cheated on her not just once, but multiple times, he would have a completely different view of the whole thing. He would probably chase him out of the country himself. But her decision wasn't just about that. It had become clear to her a few days ago that she wasn't just passing through anymore. She wanted to finally arrive, she wanted to stay. Here, in Berlin.

A quiet knock on the door made Lisa look up.
When the door opened and Rokko entered, an involuntary smile flitted across her face.
"Mr. Kowalski," she said, and her voice sounded warmer than she had intended.
He nodded to her in greeting, placed a folder on the table, and maintained his usual professional distance. He wasn't as icy as he had been in the beginning, but still somewhat withdrawn. His eyes were on the folder, ready to move on to business, when he noticed the papers beside her hand. He paused, his eyes narrowing for a moment as he read the headlines.
"Apartment listings," he stated matter-of-factly. Then, as if expressing a purely logical conclusion, he added, "It's difficult to find a large apartment in the current Berlin housing market. And you both should probably look in a better neighborhood." So she is staying in Berlin. The thought hit with unexpected force. And a second, quieter, forbidden thought followed immediately: Perhaps they would still see each other once his time at Kerima was over.

Lisa felt a small pang. He naturally assumed that she and David were looking for something big together. For a moment she remained silent, unsure of how much she should reveal, then shrugged slightly. "For me alone, a small place is sufficient."

The words hung briefly in the air. Rokko almost froze. For me alone. The sentence echoed in his head.

Far too impulsively, and with more disbelief than he meant to show, it slipped out. "You're moving on your own?"

He regretted it immediately. He cursed himself for sounding so unmistakably hopeful. Like an idiot. He quickly followed up to limit the damage: "I'm sorry. That's none of my business."

Lisa looked at him, and for the first time in a long while there was no insecurity in her eyes, only calm determination.

"No, it's fine," she said firmly. "Yes. I'm moving on my own."
As he had done weeks earlier, his gaze drifted automatically to her ring finger.
This time he did not find what he had subconsciously been looking for. She wasn't wearing a ring anymore. That does not have to mean anything, he reminded himself, trying to suppress the spark of hope rising in his chest.
Lisa noticed his glance. Her eyes followed his to her hand and then back to his face. In that moment, she understood. She lifted her head, met his gaze and said with new, unwavering certainty:
"David and I are getting divorced."

For a fraction of a second, Rokko held her gaze. His expression revealed nothing.

Then he nodded very briefly, an almost imperceptible movement of his head, and immediately changed the subject. He tapped the folder he had brought with him.

"The documents for the three o'clock meeting. We should go through the agenda again."

After they had discussed the documents for the meeting, Rokko gathered the folder and stood up. "Good, then I'll see you later," he said, neutral but not unfriendly.

Lisa nodded. "See you later."
Rokko opened the door, and at that exact moment, Helga came down the hallway.
"Oh, hello Mr. Kowalski!" she said delightedly.
"Hello, Mrs. Plenske," Rokko replied politely and stepped aside to let her pass.
Helga entered and set a cup of fresh coffee on her daughter's desk. Reflexively, Lisa tried to cover the spread-out apartment listings with a file folder, but the movement came too late.

Just as Helga set down the steaming cup, her eyes landed on the revealing papers peeking out from beneath the folder.
"Exposé for a 2-room apartment in Lichtenberg?" she read in a quiet, disbelieving voice.
She looked at her daughter with wide eyes; a mixture of shock and worry was drawn on her face.
"Sweetie, you... you want to move out?"
Lisa swallowed. The moment of truth had come sooner than expected.
She nodded, unable to speak. Helga's expression shifted to guilt.

She hurried around the desk, placed a hand on Lisa's shoulder and asked earnestly, "Is it because of your father? Because of yesterday?" The question hit a nerve.

Was it only because of him?
"Yes... no... partly," Lisa stammered, because the truth was so much more complicated.
"I already gave him an earful for what he did, believe me," Helga said quickly, her voice firm with conviction.

"He understood that he went too far. But I promise you, you have nothing more to fear from him. He will hold back."
Helga squeezed Lisa's shoulder gently, her voice softening. "Maybe you could think about it one more time, sweetie. Sometimes it's worth it not to leave everything behind immediately."
Lisa let her gaze wander over the listings.
The determination she had felt just moments ago began to crumble. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe it was hasty. The thought of being able to keep the peace with her father without having to flee was tempting. Slowly, almost reluctantly, she pushed the listings together and put them back into the envelope. For now, she decided silently, she wouldn't move out. But inside, she resolved to keep looking for an apartment with open eyes, just without the rush, without the pressure of having to find something immediately.

Rokko walked slowly through the open-plan office, his mind still on Lisa. Divorce. She had said it without hesitation.
Was she serious? Or would she change her mind in a few weeks? David had always managed to win her over again, to convince her that he was the right one. Why should this time be any different?

A bitter smile flitted across Rokko's face. Did she really want to be free now? And if so... what on earth was he thinking? That she'd just fall back into his arms?
Such nonsense.
He shook his head slightly, as though wiping away the thought. Even if David was out of the picture for good, what difference did it make? Lisa had her own life, and it likely had very little to do with him.
And that was for the best, he told himself.
"Ah, Mr. Kowalski, will you come with me?" he heard Friedrich say beside him. "Hannah and Hugo want to show us the finished collection."

Rokko nodded and followed him through the corridors to Hugo's atelier.
Lisa was already standing in the middle of it, deep in conversation with Hannah.
Hannah and Hugo led them through the collection, showing the individual pieces and explaining details. Rokko made silent notes throughout.
After they had seen everything, Rokko closed his notebook. He let his gaze wander over the collection one last time.
"Well then," he said at last, businesslike and concise, "all we need now is the right campaign for it."