Tell Her You Love Her {echosmith}

Tell Her You Love Her

I look at the picture of us. We had gone to the park that day, had hung out on the swings and climbed to the top of the trees. The photo had been taken lying in the grass while we where laughing, my right arm was wrapped around her tightly, her eyes crinkled smiling widely, I was looking towards her when the picture was snapped. 

It seemed I was the only one who could make her laugh like that. Carefree, happy.

She always seemed that way to me, Social, fun, smiling. But I would see her every once in a while when she thought she was alone, and she didn't seem that way as much.

Not with me. I could see that it was genuine when we where together. It was for me too. We where both happier together. Two wholes brought together to make something new.

How sappy is that?

That's the thing though, Hazel made be different, better? Worse? Not even bad worse. I can't explain it. I just know I didn't mind that difference, that want, to be big and exciting and do new things. All of it was awesome because I knew I would be doing these new amazing things with her.

We where constantly together. We where best friends. Isn't that the best relationship? The friendships that form into more?

I loved how when I entered a room I automatically knew where she was and our eyes met. How her nose wrinkled when she laughed. I loved to plant kisses on her nose. 

Something I could no longer do.

I was an idiot, I couldn't see the hidden pain I could recall now so much more clearly. And what was my reaction when I found out about it? Anger, confusion. 

I ruined it.

I had been angry, I'm not sure who at. Me probably, I was an idiot, I had taken it out on her.

I was upset I hadn't noticed anything, that she hadn't told me. Now I suppose I see why she hadn't told me. I had run away from her, I hadn't helped her. That's what I was suppose to do, right? Help her regardless of anything. Be by her side.

But no, I saw that I had gotten the happy side of her and that she never showed me the sad, lonely side.

She never showed it to me, and in a way that kind of hurt. Running away was a horrible idea though.

Geez! Why couldn't I get this right? I guess no ones good at relationships to begin with, to start honesty is good, and I didn't react well to her being honest with me. So I can't blame her for feeling hurt towards me and probably her own anger. 

That's why she's not answering my calls or anything. 

Gosh I'm worried for her! Now that I know more about her I worry more. There where so many times I could have been there for her, I see why she never invited me over to her house and why we where always out doing things. To distract her from her messed up life.

I wish I could go back and slap myself for running away and tell myself I need to be there for her. Show Hazel I do love her and that I can be what she needs, a friend, a distraction from a suck-y life, whatever really.

Go back to when we shared hopes and dreams, maybe now they will be more in depth and we could grow closer.

But I guess its to late. ERG!

I punch a wall, the pain is a dull throb I barely notice, but there is a big whole in the wall.

Great.

I guess the only thing to actually do know is go find where she lives and make this right.