You won't ever know how I feel. Ever. You never did know me cause you weren't ever there for me. We'd arrange everything, a date, even just to the cinema, come the day and you have a fucking excuse, not sometimes, all the damn time.
I haven't seen you in ages, that's out of school, yet you still push it hoping I won't feel anything. I say ok though inside is like a ticking time bomb. Each excuse puts it back a second.
I feel like I need to let you go though I just can't. I can't. I love you so much and show it in every way I can though you don't seem to bother. You say "I love you" but to me it's just other lie.
At times you make me smile, I make you smile, then you suddenly hit me with something like "I have to go" that's when I go back to how I felt before.
I hate myself all the time for it. All the bloody time. Though I know it's not me. It's you. I want to tell you how I feel but I can't seem to. I'm scared you'll leave me, even though you never seem to be there for me in the first place.
I love you, I always have, though I can't see how I'm putting up with it anymore.
You never see me though somehow you see your other friends 24/7. What about me? I'd like to see you once in a while. Though you don't want to see me.
The one thing that is constantly going through my mind is "maybe I should just let you go".
You don't know how I feel. You never will cause your never there. I'm always there for you.
What are those lines said by Bruno Mars? "I'd catch a grenade for you..."
But you wouldn't do the same.
It kills me to put up with the pain. Maybe I should just end it for me. No more pain.
How would you feel? I can only imagine that you wouldn't give a fuck. You'd probably arrange some massive party when it's my funeral. I'd have real friends their, no one who lied constantly.
I still love you.
Though I don't think you love me
