Broken

Chapter 5

Broken-chapter 5

The next day in school, nobody said a word to me. I was invisible. Only Lexi would talk to me. Everyone just ignored me as if I didn't exist. I didn't know why nobody would even look at me. I've never done anything to harm anyone, at least not that I know of. It was horrible, the feeling of being invisible. I think I liked being called names better, at least than people talked to me. Later on, I did start to get called names. I had a bad morning, and I couldn't take it. It was too much for me people even started sticking signs on my back.

I got home went up to my room. I thought things couldn't get worse. I decided to check my phone, it was risky, but I couldn't resist. Maybe somebody would care. I turned on my phone and saw '20 new messages' I wondered if I should check them, it might be nice, it might not be. I took the risk anyway. I still wish I never did that. That morning, I found out my mom was gonna die, it would be a miracle if she lived. I guess people found out. One message said: 'people who have cancer are losers. I hope they all die their hideous and bald!" That hurt me, a lot. In 3rd grade, i lost a friend to cancer. Now my mom. They don't understand what it's like. Most of the other messages were jokes like that. People can be so cruel and heartless. I tried to forget about my mom and be happy for once. Some other messages were just calling me fat and ugly.

I didn't know what to do anymore, I searched through my drawers, I teared apart my room, until I finally found the razor. I sat on my bed and held it close to my wrist. I started to do the first cut when Frankie came in. He froze.

"Ariana... What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm just done Frankie. You don't understand. You'll never get it. I don't do anything anymore but cry and cut or take pills, it sucks!" I said crying

"Ariana please don't your all i have left, come on I know you can make it through this!" He said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"You don't get it do you?" I said looking him in the eye, my eyes filling with tears.

"Ariana, what's wrong?"

"What's not wrong is the real question. Everything's wrong. I get bullied and beat up in school, that's why I came home bruised up yesterday. Today, I was ignored until people finally started calling me names again and sticking signs on me. I always get hate on Instagram and I'm already insecure. I'm so fat and ugly. I only have u and Lexi, and I almost lost Lexi. I'm still upset over dad and Jackie. And mom..... Well, you know she won't make it. And you know how I lost a friend to cancer in 3rd grade. Everyone's been making cancer jokes to me. See?" I said showing him the messages.

"Wow ariana I didn't know about all that. These people are awful. I'm upset too, but we have to face the facts!"

"But you don't get bullied!"

"Can I tell you a secret, between you and me?"

"Sure."

"I was bullied. A lot. I would get dunked in the toilet, thrown in trash cans. I came home bruised everyday. You were younger, you might not remember. I never told anyone, but I know how it is."

"No you don't. That's different. I don't care anymore. I'm done. I've lost everything. I've lost everyone besides u and Lexi. Frankie I'm sorry. I'm done with suffering. I'm done with crying myself to sleep. I'm done with faking a smile. I'm just done with everything."

"Ariana please!"

"Just, leave. Sorry Frankie. I love you, take this. You can remember me by it." I hugged him and gave him my special charm bracelet I made of him and me when I was a kid. He held it tight, crying, and walked out not even looking back.

I sat there thinking. I thought I might change my mind, I didn't. I walked around my room and noticed a picture of me and Jackie before she left on her voyage at sea. I held it tight to my chest and tear rolled down my face on to the picture.

"Jackie, if I could just see you one more time. If I could go back in time and tell you not to go on the trip, I would." I said

I went through my contacts and noticed I still had Jackie on there. I kept it for a memory. I picked up the razor and started cutting. It was painful, but it felt good to know I'm finally gonna end my suffering. No more tears. No more heartbreaks. No more pain. There was no turning back now.

As I was in the middle of cutting my other arm, my phone buzzed. I didn't wanna look over, but I did. The caller ID was Jackie, just how I had it in my phone. "No, this can't be" I thought to myself. I picked up the phone "hello?" I said quietly.