Broken

Chapter 1

Broken-chapter 1

I woke up and stretched to wake myself up more. As usual, I did my daily routine. I got dressed, ate breakfast, and did my hair. I went back up to my room and I picked up my phone. I saw "2 new messages" they were from Lexi. I pounded in my pass code and tears fell down my face as I read her messages. "Ew your so ugly! Idk why I was ever your friend your hideous and fat! I hope you know how ugly you are, everyone knows it. Your so ugly why was I ever your friend!" One message read. The other message said: "Omg your sooo fat. It's embarrassing to be seen with you. You weigh like 600 pounds I can't believe I was ever willing to hang out with you just ew no wonder I became so unpopular!!" I looked in the mirror, unhappy with what I saw. I was fat. I was hideous. It was embarrassing to be me. I was unpopular. Lexi was right.

As I watched TV I saw models on commercials. All skinny with a perfect body. All through out the day those words from Lexi messages ran through my head. Fat, ugly. My own best friend. I never even did anything to her. I walked upstairs and stepped on the scale. 250 pounds, and only 16 years old.

I told my mom I was going out with my friends but I was really going to buy a razor. I got to the store and couldn't find the razor. I searched every aisle. No luck. I asked somebody where razors were. They said they were all out. I couldn't believe it I didn't know what to do next. The razor was my only hope. Suddenly as I was roaming through aisles, an idea popped into my head. I would buy a bunch of pills. Maybe that would be easier anyway. Maybe it would be quicker and less painful. I went to another store and bought a bunch of pills. I probably bought about 10 containers.

I got home and ran up to my room and opened a container. I decided to stop and think about it. I started to think maybe It was making a mistake, maybe it wasn't even Lexi. Maybe I belonged here. I decided that maybe I would regret taking all those pills and killing myself. I figured things couldn't get much worse.

I put the pills down next to me and picked up my phone. I opened up Instagram and as usual my notifications were blown up, but this time with mostly rude comments. People went through all my pics commenting fat, hideous, attention whore, conceited. Tears rolled down my face as I clicked on one of the accounts who commented saying "nobody likes you why are you still here? Your so fat you probably weigh like 500 pounds. Your hideous dont believe anyone who disagrees they just wanna be nice. Your so conceited u make me wanna puke. Go loose some weight! Better yet go die!" The account was called arianaisfat. In their bio, it said repost #dieariana and #arianaishideous. I clicked the tags and #dieariana had over 200 photos, #arianaishideous had over 300. Tears rolled down my face, faster and faster.

I looked in the mirror, eyes puffy and red. I was fat. I was hideous. They were all right. I looked over at my pills and thought to myself "maybe this is happening for a reason, maybe I don't belong here" This was the end for me. All this hate was too much. I was so ugly i couldnt even stand it. To make it worse everyone had to remind of my fat ugliness, even my closet friends. I picked up the pills and checked my phone one more time to make sure nobody really cared. Nobody did. I started scarfing down the pills one at a time.