Hope

Chapter Eight

We reached the first destination of the day. We had driven a short ways up the mountain and had stopped at one of Colorado's more famous caves, the Cave of the Winds. I jumped out of the truck before Danny could come over and help me out. As much as I enjoyed his touch, after our conversation in the truck I wanted to keep my distance for the time being. I threw my jacket on the seat of the truck because for it was a good twenty degrees warmer here than in Hope.

Danny paid for the tickets and we joined a small group following a leader, who was talking about the historical significance of the caves and the people who had discovered them. We stayed a few feet away from one another until we reached the point in the tour where they turned out all the lights.

The leader said, "Cave darkness is the darkest it gets anywhere in the entire world." He turned off the lights, "If you are in pitch black like this long enough, you will start to see things that aren't there. To hallucinate objects, people, even lights."

I started to shake, another memory was resurfacing in the darkness. I was in a dark room with a male whose face I couldn't make out, his voice was saying, 'I've always wanted to fuck you. You come around to my party dressed like a little whore and you expect to make me fall in love with you? Ha, I just want to fuck your brains out, which is why I drugged your tequila. You should feel better in the morning, but I just wanted to give you a little bit of extra stimulation. Something that would lower your inhibitions and make you more responsive.' His hands were gripping my shoulders tight and he was holding me so I would look at him, 'Don't bother telling anyone about this, no one will ever believe that you didn't want it after the little display you put on downstairs... Now get the fuck out of my house and don't ever bother coming back.'

I couldn't break out of the memory and a sob escaped my lips. Quickly, the lights came back on and Danny was by my side, wrapping his arms around me as he tried to calm me down, "Shh, you're safe. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, I promise."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. The memory was starting to dissipate so I squeezed him once and let go, stepping out of his embrace. Everyone was looking at us, so I quickly made something up, "I guess my fear of the dark never went away." The leader looked like he was going to say something, then he thought better of it. Obviously he knew I was lying, but he was being nice and not calling me out on it.

Danny grabbed my hand and help me back from the group until they were a ways ahead of us. He leaned down and placed his mouth next to my ear, "Are you okay? What was that about?"

"Another memory came back," I shuddered. "It wasn't a good one. I'll tell you about it later, but suffice it to say that it wasn't pleasant and it still didn't tell me who I am or where I come from."

He caressed my hand, "If you want to talk about it, I will listen. But if it's too much for you, or something that is too personal, you don't have to tell me."

"Thanks," I smiled at him. "We should catch up to the tour group."

We finished the cave tour hand in hand, not saying anything to each other for the rest of it. I was emotionally drained after the memory and I'm pretty sure Danny could tell. We walked out to the truck, I climbed in and we headed off to the next destination, leaving the radio on and not talking. I couldn't help but think about the memory, trying desperately to remember anything else about that night. I knew it was the night of the accident, because the now fading bruises were fresh the morning after the crash. I didn't want to remember any more about the assault, but I really wanted to remember who I was.

I didn't want Danny to know what I was doing, so I turned slightly and closed my eyes, slowing my breathing down like I was napping. I didn't know where we were going, but most tourist things in Colorado are a pretty good distance from each other.