Unimaginable.
Emotional.
Indescribable. But I'm going to try.
Raw pain is the most terrifying thing.
It rips at your heart and sinks to your stomach and heavies your eyes and soul.
It clogs your throat and your arteries with the absolute dread.
It spreads from your throat to your heart to your stomach to your feet to your mind and you just want to claw it out to feel happy again. But it is never that easy.
Because feeling happy is foreign. It astounds you that people are breathing perfectly and you are here, almost drowning. Feeling so overwhelmed and sad and just heavy.
God, so freaking heavy, with just consistent exasperation. You want to scream and cry and break something and be hugged so tightly that you feel like one piece again. You just want to try.
Trying is just too hard sometimes.
