The summer that changed my life

Chapter 12

Leanne's POV

It's been days since I've spoken to Michael, I really miss him and I do I feel so bad about how I acted towards him that night. I know he didn't mean for Steve to get hurt like that. But seeing Michael that way brought back so many memories. I know it wasn't Michael's fault and I feel so bad about how I treated him that night.

"you ok?" Paul ask slowly coming into my room and I shake my had "it was all my fault" I sigh feeling sorry for myself. Paul sits on the bed an wraps his arm around me. "What happened was nothing more than a dick measuring contest between them. You didn't start the fight between Michael and Steve that fights been coming since they first laid eyes on each other. if it didn't happen then it would have happened some other time"

"But the way Michael was acting..."

"is exactly how anybody else would reacted! Steve was charging at him and about to take a swing at him of course Michael was gonna punch him!" I sigh, looking at the ground "but if I hadn't have freaked out an ran off from him like that, then Michael never would have come outside an none off this would happened" I croak trying to fight back my tears "maybe not that night, but like I said. It would have happened eventually, an the whole freaking out thing wasn't your fault either, just explain it to him. because trust me right now he's probably sat thinking it's all his fault. Wondering what he did wrong... Just call him"

"but..." I begin to speak, but Paul cuts me off an hands me my phone "call him... If he's really into you then he'll understand" he smiles reassuringly the leaves the room closing the door behind him, giving me privacy. I take a deep breath an start to dial.

My stomach is in knots as the phone rings and I have know clue how to even start this conversation. "Hi" a soft voice answers after the third ring. I go quiet not really sure what to say next. "I've missed you" he says softly. "I missed you too" I croak nervously.

"I'm sorry for how I was with you and for running out on you like that" I mumble. "It's ok, I'm sorry I scared you"

"you didn't it was me...I scared myself and ruined your show I'm sooo sorry" I sigh. "you didn't ruin anything I'd just wish you'd tell me what I did wrong"

"I saw how mad you father was"

"Baby, Joseph's always pissed don't worry about him. I wasn't gonna just let you leave like that, I know I scared you an that's why you left after what happened with Steve. But what I don't understand is why you ran away the first time. whatever I did I'm sorry. Will you please tell me what I did?"

"You didn't do anything" I start croak as tears begin to fall down my face. "your crying" he says concerned. "no" I lie which he's sees straight through. "what's wrong?" I take a deep breath and decide to just come out with it and hope that he understands and doesn't freak out and run away. "Um... when you touched me. And when you hit Steve... it..." I begin then pause trying not to cry. "please tell me" Michael asks softly. I take I deep breath and try and start again. "one night when I was 8 my mother an her boyfriend at the time were downstairs drinking as usual an I heard her screaming an crying, he turned the radio up real loud, but I could still hear, I snuck out of my room an saw him hitting her. I was so scared I just froze then they turned an saw me. My mother told me to go back to sleep so I ran back to my room. Then I heard him tell my mother to go to the store to get him more beer. When she left he snuck into my room and..." I pause and begin tearing up as the whole night plays over again in my head and I hear Michael crying."what did he do?" He croaks "I can't say it" I whisper faintly. "You have to say it" I go silent for a moment. Even though only a few people know about what happened that night, they only know something happened but don't know the whole thing because. I've never actually been able to say it.

"say it" Michael says softy "he...he" I stutter "you can do this" he whispers "he touched me"
I quickly say then burst out crying as the words  I've never been able to say finally come out of my mouth and hear Michael crying on the other end of the phone.

"I'm sooo sorry, if id have known I never would have..."

"it's not your fault" I cut him off. "but it is, something so traumatic happened to you an I just replayed the entire thing" he sobs. "your not blame for anything, you didn't know"

"I'm never gonna let anything like that happen to you again. I swear. If you wanna slow things down. I completely understand we don't have to do anything your not ready for... I'll wait as long as you need me to"

"I do want to but... Whenever I get close to doing...stuff, I always freeze up an run away"

"does that mean you've never?...."

"I've come close a few times but never actually.... You know"

"that's understandable. Anybody would be scared if that happened to them"

"I'm sorry for pushing away like I did. I don't want you to feel like I'm rejecting you. This is my problem. It's not fair that I took it out on you. I'm so sorry"

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about. I only feel rejected when you don't tell me these things. And we're together now, which makes this is OUR problem an we'll deal with it together"

"I can't ask you to do that"

"But your not asking... I'm telling you. your my girlfriend I'm not gonna let you go through this alone. I love you and..." he cuts himself and goes silent. Did he really just say?....

"fuck" I hear Michael whisper faintly to himself "Michael?" smile to myself "yeah?"

"I love you too"