Sanction

Picnic

Nothing seemed real. Had I really just kissed some guy I've only seen about three times? I came out here to go away from my boyfriend, I can't just jump in with another. It would be going against the point of my leaving. However, Brian's presence feels so much sweeter and he makes me feel differently than Jake ever had.

Jake was an ordinary guy, he didn't even really share the same style and cultural ideals as me. We liked different things, different music. Ugh, now thinking about it, why was I even attracted to him? We had nearly nothing in common. From the short time I've gotten to know Brian, we're already so much more similar.

After coming into my room I looked at the clock. Wow, already one in the morning. I need to work tomorrow as well. He and I talked for hours at that strange old house. I changed into a big black, baggy shirt and blue plaid pajama pants. But after brushing my teeth, I wasn't tired anymore. Well this is going to be a problem.

I ended up staying up till 3 a.m. and didn't wake up until 10. I don't usually check my phone the first thing in the morning, but I forgot to last night after coming home. And strangely, there were some notifications.

(Yesterday 11:56 PM) Sharon: What time are you coming home? I'm heading to bed

(Today 1:36 AM) Brian: Thanks again for spending time with me.  It means a lot.

(Today 1:38: AM) Brian: And don't be afraid to call me up whenever you need me.

I'm surprised he texted me, he doesn't seem like the type to.

I got dressed in casual clothes and went into the kitchen to grab some cereal.

"Have fun last night?" Sharon surprised me .

I jumped a little, "Oh, I didn't know you were there." I poured the milk, then put it back in the fridge. "And yes, I had a great time.

"How was Brian?" She said his name teasingly.

I blushed a little, the memory of our last encounter of the night coming back to me. "He was good to me. We went to watch the sunset at the top of a hill."

Sharon smiled, "Ooh, romantic. You got home pretty late."

"Yeah, we talked for a long time. It went well." I turned around to face the cabinets to hide my face. I didn't really want to tell her about anything else.

"That's great to hear. Hey, the washer broke entirely earlier this morning so I'm going to see about it getting fixed, or a new one. Preferably, a new one because that one sucked."

"Uh ok, I'll probably be here."

I sat down on the sofa to watch some tv, but nothing good was on. Instead, I decided to listen to music. The bag with Marilyn Manson's album in it was still laying about, so I put it in the stereo. A strange intro began and then I recognized the song from when I saw them play. "Cake and Sodomy. Ew, I like it." The song had a great beat and I head-banged while remembering it being played live.

When the album was finished playing I felt energized and also very hungry. I walked into the kitchen to check for something to eat when I saw the pot brownies where I left them. Better not. Cold pizza leftovers were more inviting.

While I ate my pizza, I went on the computer. I wonder if my parents still live in the same house. I went to the yellow pages website, and typed in my parents names. They did still live there... interesting. I had the sudden urge to go visit them. What would I even say? For the next 20 minutes I searched up my friends names too. Some had moved far away but a few of my old best friends were still local in Nevada. Did they know I still existed? Would they care if I popped in and would I fit in again if I did meet them once again?