Unchanging [h.s. au]

thirteen

Time seemed to slow down as I approached the desk. My eyes felt like they were out of focus as I stared at the frame. It was a picture of my family before the accident.

He was in it.

My heartbeat accelerated and my head begin ringing. I suddenly felt weak, like my legs couldn't support my body anymore. My shaking hands reached out to steady myself on the side of the desk. Guilt ripped through my chest and my breath came out in shallow gasps.

It was all my fault. Everything was.

The familiar feeling of panic settled in as I thought too much about it. The room started spinning and I couldn't breathe anymore. I sank to the floor and put my head between my knees while I choked back a sob.

This could not be happening right now. I knew I had to change my thoughts. I had to change them right now.

Get up! I mentally yelled at myself.

I couldn't spend too much time thinking at all, unless I wanted to feel awful for the rest of the day. I needed to do something to take my mind off it this. I needed to do something crazy. An idea popped into my mind, which gave me incentive to weakly push myself up and take a few deep breaths.

Once I managed to calm down a bit, I ran to my dad's garage. I looked around like a maniac until I found what I was looking for. I grabbed a skateboard, which I assumed belonged to one of the kids my dad's girlfriend had, and a couch cushion on my way out.

The dry summer air hit me like a wave as I stepped outside. I needed to find a good sized hill, and luckily, since I was in California, there were plenty of those. My heart was still racing as I attempted to push down the dark thoughts as I walked. An adrenaline rush was just what I needed right now, something to take my mind off of everything.

Once I scaled the steepest hill in the neighborhood, I set down the skateboard, held it in place with my foot, then put the couch cushion on top. I turned to look down the mammoth hill, to see if there was a part of it that flattened out safely. Unfortunately, instead of somewhere I could coast, the hill abruptly ended with someone's gigantic house. I mentally took note to avoid cement and try to land in the grass of their yard.

As I plopped down onto my makeshift seat and tested the wheels of the skateboard, my dad's last text flashed through my mind.

Please be safe while I'm gone.

Maybe I should have brought a helmet or something.

I shrugged, lifted my hands off the pavement, and brought my knees up to my chest.

The skateboard slowly gained speed until it going so fast that if I moved a single muscle, I would surely face plant and scrape up my face into nonrecognition. My blonde hair streamed out behind me as the warm air danced across my skin. Although I knew I could obtain gruesome injuries at any moment, I laughed out loud. I felt free, exhilarated. I finally felt back in control of myself.

About halfway down the hill, I could make out two figures coming out of the house ahead of me. They didn't seem to notice me flying down the hill as they walked in my direction. A wave of alarm rolled through my body. I was speeding straight towards them and there was no way I was slowing down, unless I wanted to burn holes through my shoes.

My eyes widened in fear as I recognized one of the figures. Realizing I had about three seconds before I ran into one of them, I let out a scream.

"HARRY!"

Harry's confused face turned towards mine at the last second.

"Oh, sh-"

I slammed into his body, the collision causing us to go rolling through the yard of the house. I kept my arms tight around my torso, not wanting them to flail around and break a bone. Our bodies became tangled up as we rolled, and when we stopped, my body was on top of Harry's with my face pressed right up against his chest.

I immediately brought my head up to look at Harry. I grabbed his cheeks and inspected his face. "Are you okay? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I couldn't stop."

Harry's face was contorted in pain. "I'm a little bruised, but I think I'll be okay." He brought his hands up, wrapped them around my waist, and pulled me closer. "At least I get something good out of it."

His lips were devastatingly close to mine as he smirked at me. With our bodies pressed together, I felt an indescribable electricity between us. My heart beat wildly in my chest as his hands slowly started to roam farther down my back. He looked at me with dark, hooded eyes and I felt my stomach do flips at the sight of him. He was impossibly handsome.

"That was sick!" I heard a voice from behind us exclaim.

I jumped, forgetting there was someone else here. I quickly pushed myself off Harry and turned to see a boy with shaggy brown hair and a big smile.

"Did you seriously just try to make your own roller coaster?" Like Harry, he had a British accent.

"Yes?" I breathily replied, still recovering from my close proximity to Harry and making it sound more like a question than a statement.

"Well, now I want to try that sometime." The boy stuck out his hand toward me. "I'm Louis by the way."

I reached out and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Clara."

"Ah, so you're the girl Harry has been telling me about. I've heard you've been causing a lot of trouble around the club." He winked at me.

I winced at his words. "Yeah, not starting out with a very good record, I guess."

"Don't worry about it, love. I enjoy a bit of trouble to shake things up." He ducked his head and spoke quietly only to me. "Plus, you've got Harry all out of sorts. I like to see him flustered every now and then, he hardly ever loses his cool."

A blush creeped up onto my face. "I doubt that, I'm not that exciting."

Louis gave me a meaningful look and opened his mouth to say something else.

"What are you guys talking about over there?" Harry stood up from where he fell on the ground.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Louis straightened his back. "Hey, don't you two have a date to get to or something?"

Harry rolled his eyes at Louis before turning to me. "Are you ready to go?"

I didn't realize it was already 6:30. I looked down at my dingy jeans and t-shirt and remembered the outfit I had set out at my dad's house.

"Can I just go home and change real quick?"

Hopefully the rest of this date would go more smoothly than it started.