Jar of Dirt

On being "social"

Here's a fact, I'm not the most interesting person out there. I'm quiet, and tend to keep my opinions to myself. Some people might take this to mean that I'm boring. Maybe I am. I honestly couldn't give a toss what people think anymore. Spent too long caring what people might think about me, and just don't care anymore. Too old for juvenile rubbish.

People tire me out anyway. Social interactions, especially ones I have to attend, leave me feeling drained and worn, like an old shirt that's been through the wringer one too many times, and is now full of holes. I can cope, to a degree, but only if I can get away to recharge. If I can't, or if I'm forced into a corner by someone, then I do start getting a bit panicky.

I'm just not a social butterfly. I'm rubbish at starting conversations. Oh, if someone else begins one with me, then yes, I can sustain it, but when it comes to me starting one? It fizzles out within the first couple of minutes, if that. Even if I try to keep it going, it just doesn't work. I just can't gossip endlessly about some new brand of makeup, or a clothing range. When it comes down to it, I don't care about clothes, or makeup, or how other women style their hair.

Yes, I'm a woman. No, I don't particularly care about my day-to-day appearence. I live in T-shirts and jeans mostly. Doesn't mean I'm a scruff-ball. I have short hair. That does not mean I'm a lesbian, or that I appreciate random little kids laughing at me in the street. Seriously, I once had two boys follow me round a shop, making stupid and totally incorrect assumptions about me. I can take being mistaken for a guy, since that's just people not really looking at me properly.

Probably safe to say that I'm not much of a people person. Once I get to know someone, I'm alright with them, but until that happens, don't expect me to say much.

Sorry, not usually this prickly. And I'm slightly more verbose when writing anyway. It's easier to get my thoughts organised and in some sort of order when trying to write them down. Either on paper or on the computer.