I Learned To Trust | The Joanne McKinley Diaries 2

5. Can You Shut The Fuck Up

"Are we one of those sickeningly sweet couples?" Mason asks as we get our food with Mai.

"Yeah. I want to puke out my insides all the time around you guys being lovey-dovey. But I guess I'm used to it," she says.

I laugh as Mason shoots daggers at Mai and walk out to the field after paying. Once I get there, I see Alisha and she looks like she's on edge while rushing her pizza. No time like the present. I walk to her and, once she sees me, she gulfs down the rest of her pizza and sprints like there was a koala behind her. She's afraid of koalas because she thinks that their cute exterior is just a mask that hides the true evil within them. Absurd, right? I sigh and sit where she was previously. Why was she avoiding me? What did I d... Argh! Could Mason and Mai stop fighting for ten seconds and just shut the fuck up?

"Can you shut the fuck up?" I scream at them.

They stare at me in awe. And they were also so close to punching each other and de-prettying their flawless faces. Could these guys not fight for a minute or something. Like please! I hadn't got angry like this for almost a month when the Mason thing happened. And why wouldn't I? I'm here, trying to get my head around shit, and they're fighting like an old married couple...scratch that. Great, I would never get that sight out of my head.

"What's got your feathers in a twist, J?" Mason asks. He and Mai take a seat on either side of me. I pull my knees up to my chest and bury my face in my knees.

"Alisha," I mumble out. I pull my face out. "Why is she avoiding me? I thought we got over this thing."

Mason puta his arm around me and Mai rubs my shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she's going to tell you," Mai says.

"Yeah don't worry," Mason says.

"Real original."

"What the fuck is your problem!"

"You Godzilla."

"Why you little bitch!"

"Man whore!"

"Slut!"

And it goes on and on. What the fuck even was this? Ten seconds ago, they were fighting. Now they're fighting again. I mean, hormonal teenagers much. I swear down it was worse on Mai's birthday. Never ending insults and Mason and Mai had to be separated in the cinema because they were about to strangle each other. So, for the second time today, I reason. I hold my breath and...

"Can you shut the fuck up!" I scream again. I look at them and they're still calling each other bitches and man whores. Like what the heck! Can't you guys kiss and make up or something! I was just tired of it right now. So I finish up my pizza and grab my rucksack. I throw it over my shoulder and get out my phone, eyes glued to it. Eyes so glued to it that I don't realise that I was about to bump into someone.

Umpfh!

I rub my head on on my place on the ground. Then I look up at the person that I bumped into and my eyes widen then quickly return to their natural form. I breathe in and stand to help her up. She takes it and looks away.

"So why are you avoiding me Alisha?" I ask. She looks away and I see the rise and fall in her chest. She looks at me.

"Because I know you, Joanne and I know that you get super grudges and you probably hate me. Because I agreed to the whole jealousy thing and actually wanted to kiss Mason on the bus even though I knew it was an act. I know I shouldn't have agreed to it because I knew you wouldn't fall for it. But I agreed to because...because I...I...I still like Mason," she lets out and looks me in the eye.

I look at her and contain my hurt and anger. "How long?" I ask, my voice breaking and and quiet.

I see her gulp. "I never stopped."

I break inside. And I think she find it visible.

"I just wanted you to be my friend again and things were going fine but then it was hard since I really liked Mason. Please don't hate me," she pleads.

I let my tears leak on my face. Giving unwanted moisture to my face. I look up and give her a look that said it all. But I said it anyway.

"Hate is the perfect word. Just leave me alone," I sob. And I walk back towards Mason and Mai. They're still fighting but I don't care. I just sat down and cried my eyes out. Then Mason stops shooting abuse at Mai and walks over to me. He sees me crying and quickens his pace.

"Joanne. What happened?" His voice was fierce like he was going to kill whoever made me cry. I try to say what happened but it comes out as sobs.

"Breathe in and out, J," Mai says. So I do.

"Alisha," I begin, my voice wobbly. "She said she liked that you were going to kiss her for the jealousy thing. She wanted you to because she likes you. I asked her for how long and she said that she never stopped after she-sh-e kissed you." I end up crying out louder when I say the kiss part. Mason instantly wraps his arms around me but I pound my arms against him, begging him to put me down. He tackles me to the ground and I give up with the beatings and keep crying. He caresses my cheek and I let him while soaking his jumper in my tears. Mai's debating whether she should beat up Alisha or not.

"Shh. Don't worry. I want you, only you. Remember that. She's not going to get in between us, okay," he soothes.

"Son of a fucking bitch. I hope she fucking rots in hell. How dare she. I just...arghh!" Mai mutters. I chuckle and Mai softens a bit. I also wipe my tears and stand up, with Mason's help.

"I'm just going to focus on what's good with my life right now. You guys. No thinking about Alisha," I say. Mai claps and Mason wolf whistles.

I still feel betrayed in a way but I'm going to pretend Alisha exists. I'm going to focus on the great in my life.

Mason.

Mai.

And maybe my mum.