Chasing Destiny [SYTYCW15]

England, 1309

The mid-day meal was ready and Akantha went looking for Matheus. She could have sent one of the servants to find him, but she liked doing things for herself. She found him in the solar standing near a window with his attention was focused on something outside. "Is there something interesting outside?" she asked as she approached him.

He turned and offered her a small smile. "Not as interesting as you," he told her. He reached out and took her hands in his. He gave them a gentle squeeze.

His hands were warm and hers soaked up the warmth. "What troubles you?" she asked, concerned about him. There were moments in the past two years when she caught him in a quiet moment and she knew he thought about his brothers and former order. She didn't like it when he withdrew and became maudlin and it made her worry.

"I am a coward, my lady," he replied. He turned and looked out the windows.

"Why do you say such things?" She put a hand on his chin and turned his face so she could look into his eyes. The sadness she saw in the brown depths made her sad for him. Over the past two years she had fallen in love with him and he with her and while they had many happy moments together, there were times like now when he thought about his old life. He was handsome, kind and there was an old soul behind his brown eyes. He was a kindred spirit and it wasn't any wonder why she loved him.

"While my brothers died, I did nothing. I hid like a coward." He looked away from her again and pulled his hands from hers.

"You are not a coward, my love," she said with no little conviction. She put a hand on his cheek and turned his face back toward her. "There's nothing you could have done for them. Phillip and Clement were determined to destroy your order and an army would not have stopped them. Any success you may have had would have been a Pyrrhic victory. There are times when it's best not to fight. Others of your order fled the purge and continued on with their lives. They still live, some married and with families. There is no cowardice in it."

"What do you know of war and battles?"

Akantha gave him a sad smile of her own. "Much, I am afraid. War does not confine itself to the purview of men. War touches and affects all. I have seen countless wars and expect to see many more."

"You are so brave to have experienced and live through so much," he said. A hand gently caressed her cheek. She smiled at the feel of his touch. "One lifetime of fighting has made me weary and bitter, yet you have seen many lifetimes of such things and have not succumbed to bitterness. I love you, Akantha."

"I love you, Matheus. I dread the day I will have to live without you." Akantha never told her lovers her secret, but for some reason she had told Matheus. She blamed it on loneliness and a desire to have someone she loved understand the countless empty years she had spent. She was close to two thousand years old and lived many different lives, but he was the first non-immortal to hear her story.

"If I could, I would live forever by your side."

Akantha looked up at him and smiled. "That may be possible."

He looked down at her and a brow arched. "Truly?"

"I do not jest," she assured him. "We could be together until the end of time." The words were out before she realized what she was saying. He was the first man she ever offered to make immortal. She couldn't bear the thought of his death and having to live without him. She loved him too much to lose him to the ravages of time like she had so many loved ones before.

"I want nothing more than to be by your side," he said. His hand stopped to cup a cheek and he leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips. "How did you become immortal? Will it be the same for me?"

Akantha looked away for a moment. "No, it would not be the same process." She doubted there was a reason for anyone to curse him. "This is not something to be decided lightly," she cautioned. "While anyone would think living forever and never succumbing to old age or disease would be a blessing, it is more of a curse. Seeing someone you love, friends and lovers, grow old and die for centuries is torture.

"How do we make this happen?" he asked.

"We have a journey to take."

"Where are we going?"

Akantha looked away for a long moment. When she looked back at him she knew her next words were going to be painful for him. "An estate near Paris."

Matheus released her hand a took a step away from her. His hand went to his chin and he rubbed it as he turned away from her.

"If I could take you anywhere else, I would, but the gentleman we must see has an estate outside of the city. We do not have to do this if it's too painful for you."

He looked turned and looked at her. He shook his head. "No. We will go. I do not want to live my life without you and I do not want my death causing you pain."

"Are you certain you want to do this? I know how painful it must be to go back to France." She felt the same towards Greece. She hadn't stepped foot in Greece since the time Damianos left her in Athens.

He took her hand in his and gave it a fond squeeze. "I would storm the gates of Hell if it meant I could spent eternity with you."

Akantha smiled. "I will have the servants start packing our things."

He smiled and dropped a light kiss on her mouth. "I love you."

"I love you," she muttered against his mouth. The kiss ended and she pulled away from him, taking two steps back.

"Akantha?"

"Are you sure you want this?" she asked.

"I don't mind returning to France if it means being with you."

She shook her head. "I meant immortality," she clarified. "It is not an easy burden to bear. Some people will see it as a blessing, but in truth it is a curse. You will not change, but the world around you does not stop changing and it can be difficult to adjust. Everyone you know will grow old and die before your eyes and the pain of their deaths stays with you."

He stepped forward, closing the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her. He placed a light kiss on her forehead. "I have never been more sure of something in my life. I only want to be with you."

Akantha tilted her face up and pressed a kiss on his mouth. "Then you shall be with me. Now and forever."