The Colors of Life (Sequel to The Color of My Skin)

"Give it time mija."

"I dont know what to do mami. Jacob knows I'm hurting too and it's not helping me with the constant arguing. What do I do?", I questioned her.

"My son can be a handful sometimes. But remember that you too are going through the same thing. I miss my grandbabies and I'm sure Jacob does too."

"Mami you don't understand. I need him for my rock but he just keeps pushing away. Without him, I'd be broken.", I muttered weakly as tears threatened to slip down my face.

"Don't you ever say that mija. You're spirit won't be broken unless you allow it to. Don't rely on anyone, you hear?"

"Ok Mami. But what do I do if he goes all balistic on me?", I asked her.

She sighed, "Give it time mija.", she said. (MEE-HA) (Spanish word for "baby")

I ended the call.

"Who were you talking to?", asked Jacob.

I gasped as I clutched my heart.

"Jacob you scared the crap out of me."

"Don't avoid the question. Who the fuck were you talking to?", he stated darkly.

His eyes were cold and unmoving.

"Nobody.", I answered.

He slammed me into the wall.

"Don't fucking play with me.", he seethed.

I nearly gagged at his foul breath.

"First of all it's none of your fucking business. Second of all, let go of me. Lastly have you been drinking?"

He slapped me...hard.

I fell to the floor, gasping.

**

I fell back to the wall clutching my nose. He punched me in the face. He walked up to me, his face burning with rage. He took a handful of my hair and banged it onto the wall as I screamed. He hit me in the stomach as I whimpered. I began to sob.

He came to my face.

"I said shut up.", he seethed.

**

I recounted this memory to the first time Jacob put his hands on me. My eyes let the tears fall free.

Jacob laughed at me.

He pecked me on the lips and exited the room, his laughter carrying along.

I really hoped Jacob's mom's advice would help. I really hoped so...