From Hate Flourishes Love (Editing)

999 Roses

🅚🅐🅘

Dr. Khan instructs us to sit face each other. And when I turn to face Zander, our knees brush and my fingers curl into my lap to keep from reaching for him.

"Kai," Dr. Khan says. "I want you to describe a recurring conflict in your relationship."

When my memories returned, they didn't change my love—they confirmed it. I had loved Zander even without knowing why, and that kind of love made me realize that I wanted us to have a marriage that's nurtured and not survived.

Zander was right. When there's a conflict between us and I don't know how to fix it, I retreat into the idea of giving up on loving him, even when it isn't what my heart truly wants.

Zander deserves a love that chooses him. He shouldn't think that I'm only enduring our marriage out of duty. I can't keep letting my parents be the reason we remain together. I have to move forward, past how we began, and stay because my heart still wants him.

"Kai?"

"Yes," I blink once, then again, as I remember the doctor's instructions.

"Go ahead ..." Dr. Khan urges.

I exhale softly, before I say my answer out loud."I can't be friends or make conversation with anyone who isn't a girl because Zander always assumes the worst."

Dr. Khan sits upright in his chair. "And where do you feel that in your body right now?" He asks me.

"I feel a panic in my gut," I answer. "I'm afraid that I won't ever get to live a life outside of our marriage."

Dr. Khan smiles appreciatively before flicking his eyes over at Zander.

"Mr. Storm?" He questions Zander. "What is it like for you to hear that Kai feels he won't ever get to love a life outside of our marriage."

"I feel sad. Angry at myself," Zander says shortly. "Because I want Kai's life to be rich ... expansive, and not confined by our marriage, but supported and loved within it."

Our session ends around 12:45, and Zander has a meeting to rush back. We climb into the car, and he strongly encourages the driver to get him to his office in the next thirty minutes.

He's on his phone with his assistant as soon as the car drives off, but automatically reaches out to steady me when we hit a pothole. His hand lingers firm and protective for a second longer than necessary.

Zander glances over, catching me already looking at him, and I grow warm and anxious under his gaze.

"Tell Garcia to start the meeting without me," he murmurs into the phone.

Zander lifts his hand from my stomach to cup the back of my neck, leaning in to kiss my forehead before work pulls him away again.

I release a breath that's meant to urge him to go for my lips.
He probably senses my longing, and peels the phone from his ear. "I'll call you back," he tells his assistant.

Zander drops the phone from his hand, and traces my top lip with his thumb. His grip around my neck tightens as he pulls  me closer to his face. I wait, my heart pacing, as his warm, minty breath fans my lips. And he smirks lopsidedly at my impatience.