Don't You Dare (boyxboy)

Chapter 5

I didn't sleep one bit this night. Everything that happened today kept replaying in my mind.

One moment he can act really cold and distant, and I'm just here. The other he is really caring about me, and tries to get real close to me.

I also still didn't have an answer for why he was so cold when he kissed me. As if he was a non-living thing, with no heartbeat what so ever.

It has just been two days, that I have been locked up here with him and I'm already going insane.

Just all these vague things that happen here with no possible explanation.

And still, what did he mean with tonight is not the night. Was he referring to the ledge? He looked so zoned-out and comfortable up there. As if it was his favorite spot and he felt free there.

But then, why would he bring me to his spot. Why did he want to share it with me?

I couldn't think of an answer to that question because suddenly the room was filled with sun light and I had to squeeze my eyes shut. It was so bright, something I hadn't seen in a long time.

My eyes slightly adapted to the bright light and I saw a silhouette standing in front of the window through which the sun light entered the room.

I felt my heart beat rise even though I knew who was the silhouette.

"Isn't it a beautiful day" Johnnie said in a monotone voice. He sounded far from happy. Actually I have never heard him happy, not in this place nor in the time he was still in school. The happiest he sounded was on that ledge yesterday...
As if he was at home.

I hummed in response to him but I don't think he heard it because he turned around and looked at me with this questioning look. It was questioning but also sad. As if he could burst into tears any moment.

"Are you okay?" I asked him as I stood up. I wanted to comfort him, but I also don't want to go near him. He still is the one that's keeping me here in this place.

"Are you okay?" He returned my question. It left me confused for a few minutes.

I stumbled out a soft yes, but I wasn't sure if I agreed with my own answer.

"No, not really actually." I whispered but loud enough for him to hear.

"Is it because of me?" I could hear the sadness in his voice almost.

"No and yes...." I answered him. I almost wanted to lie and say it wasn't because of him, but the truth is always better than a lie.

"But I don't fully blame you. I was already fucked up before you kept me here." I tried to make him feel less bad about himself, but I know he's feeling bad also due to other reasons. Reasons I don't know yet, and I don't know if I want to know.

"I'm sorry" he whispered and turned himself back to the window. I slowly walked towards him and stood next to him. I tried to follow his eyes, to see what he was looking at.

There wasn't much to see except for his ledge, his safe spot. I thought I saw a small tear roll down his cheeks.

My stomach all of a sudden growled really loudly, and I felt light headed. It felt as if I could pass out any moment. I tried to remember the last time I had eaten. But I couldn't think about it, my mind went black just as my vision.

The last thing I remember seeing was Johnnie trying to catch me.

~~~~~~~

I woke up, blinded by a white light. Not only the light was white though. Everything around me was white.