Finding Hope

Chapter 1

I turn over in my bed, basking in the morning sun streaming through my window. Wait - sun? I open my eyes to see the bare concrete walls staring back at me. The dream seemed so real, and it makes me long that much more for the warm caress of the sun’s rays running across my skin. 

Hearing a noise under my hammock, I hang my head over the edge to find my little sister Penny sulking on the bed beneath me. Her small heart-shaped face is stained with tears, her brown little curls matted to her face. Penny is always the life of the party, the ray of sunshine that found its way underground. She rarely sheds a tear.

"Penny?" I say quietly, swinging down from my hammock and landing softly on the floor in front of her. She looks up at me and flings herself into my arms. "It's okay, sweetie. It'll be okay."

She sobs into my shoulder. "M-m-mummy's sick-k," she sputters between sobs. "They s-s-said she m-may not get b-b-better."

"Aw I'm sure you just heard wrong sweetie, I'm sure mummy will get better," I try to reassure her, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything anymore. A lump forms in my throat, and I try to swallow it but it won't go away. I can't cry in front of Penny, I have to be strong, for her sake.

"Hey Penny, I might go see the doctors and see what they say now, okay? You stay here and stop crying hey," I put her back down on the bed and pat her shoulder softly. She nods her little head and lies down on the bed, and I leave the room quietly.

I make my way through the halls to the makeshift infirmary, passing people as I walk, children, mothers, and not a single speck of hope in their faces. I don't know if it's my instinct or the grey walls everywhere I look, but there is a horrible feeling in my gut that gets worse with every step. Finally I stand in the grey room with the old filthy hospital beds. You'd think it would be the cleanest room in the whole underground complex, but with no way of cleaning the sheets the dead skin and filth from sick patients just piles up. The room reeks of death and disinfectant. I look across at my dying mother lying upon one of those old mattresses, barely breathing, and tears spring to my eyes. I can't stand seeing her like this. I bring my hand up to cover my mouth, to cover the audible sob that almost escapes. Backing slowly from the room I can hardly take my eyes off the limp pale for that is my mother. I turn and run down the hall from which I'd come. No one stops me; they all know.

I can't do this, I think. No, I can't see my mother die. I won't be able to handle it, not after what happened to my father, not after my best friend, and definitely not with the extra weight of taking care of Penny. I don't want to believe that my mother is dying, that there is no hope for her, but the signs are obvious. She isn't going to make it.

I find myself subconsciously wiping away the tears that slide down my face as I rush down hall after hall, not sure where I am going but always facing the same grey concrete walls. Soon I come across a small set of stairs I don't recognise as part of the complex. I walk up them, unfazed, just wanting to be somewhere different, if only a little different, from the place I've been stuck these past few months.

The staircase grows into a thin hallway; getting darker the deeper I go. I run my hands along the walls, steadying myself in the dark. How did it get so dark so fast? And what's down here I wonder? I continue to walk, unable to see anything anymore. I can hear my own breathing, my footsteps echoing through the small dark passage. My fingers feel moss growing on the concrete walls; getting thicker the deeper I go. Moss? That would mean there has been water somewhere nearby, or maybe rain. But how would that be possible?

Suddenly I slam right into a brick wall. The force pushes me back and I fall on my arse, smacking my head against another wall. What the fuck? I stick my hands out, searching for the walls again before standing up and leaning against the wall. Something warm and wet trickles down my face and I reach my hand up to my cheek to find what I assume is blood. Closing my eyes I rest my head on the hard moss-covered wall. I breath in deeply and open my eyes again, even though I can't see a th- hang on. There is light ahead of me. Am I dying? I feel my feet moving beneath me and make my way toward the faint light, cautious of the walls around me. The light gets closer with every step I take, and within a few minutes I find myself at not a light but a hole in the concrete roof of the passage way. 

Curiously I grab hold of the edge of the hole and hoist myself up through it - and almost fall back the other way. This isn't just some hole leading to another room or something within the underground complex, this is the ground. I'm outside. The moon beams down at me as I climb away from the hole. My feet trample the overgrown grass. The houses nearby look dilapidated, worn from months of abandonment. 

Suddenly it hits me: I am outside, I am free. And I have probably just been exposed to radiation and am going to die.