Insane

21⚬

➝Scarlett
It's been about a week and two days since I've been put in the sponge room and I'm bored as hell. I feel gross and dirty and I honestly want to take a shower.

I haven't heard of any outsiders and I'm wondering when will they let me out.

There have been times were I would start a tantrum and I would claw at the walls, pull my hair and scream. Sometimes even fall into fits of laughter.

I guess you can say I've gone insane.

I have been getting really chatty with Renee. There would be times where I would be dancing with her. Spinning. Even laughing.

If people were here next to me, they would think I'm on drugs.

There is not one day where Matthew isn't going through my mind.

Matt.
Matt.
Matt.
Matt.

That's all I think about and quite frankly, I would shed some tears sometimes.

I'm just here, hoping that they can get me out of this room because I feel so alone.
I miss the feeling of warm arms going around me. I miss the pillow on my bed. I miss the blankets. I miss the sheets. I miss beating the shit out of Madison.

I wonder where she went...

Do you ever get that feeling where whenever you're alone, you just think bad about yourself and you want to cry? Because that's what I'm feeling and I just want to fall asleep and never wake up.

I stood up and placed my feet together. I looked at my legs and I saw a small thigh gap. I began to growl and whimper, knowing the fact that I'm fat.

I lifted my shirt up and pulled the waistband of my shorts down a bit and I saw a bit of fatness sticking out.

I let out a scream of anger.

Fuck yourself Scarlett!

God, why am I insane? Why am I sick to the head? Why? Why? Why?

Someone give me a hug....