autobiography // h.s. au (sequel to the writer)

chapter 3

Harry

Alexis is silent, and I'm silent. It's biting away at me. Each second that her voice is at halt my heart fades and my mind looses interest. I'm not as observant as I used to be, not obsessed by her every move, word or action. I've seen it all and know everything about her, inside and out. This is the point that couples wish to get to. They want to know all about their significant other and be the only one who knows so much. But for Alexis and I, knowing all that is too much.

The chase was fun. The constant desire to be near each other when we shouldn't be was invigorating. Now there's no chase - there's barely an 'us'. Maybe when we said I love you we didn't really mean we loved each other, for everything we were and are, but were saying it to the feeling we felt when with each other. We were electricity and fire, pulsing together and heating to dangerous temperatures. It wasn't the characteristics we loved. I don't think it is anymore. It was love because of the feelings that all joined and together, it wasn't love because our souls belonged or heart collided.

Lex stands up with her empty plate. She goes to the sink, turns on the cold water and runs her plate under it. She won't be bothered to put it in the dishwasher. That's okay.

I know she's just going to walk up to our bedroom and fall into the bed again. She'll lay lifelessly until I climb under the covers and she has to move so we fit as we lie in bed together. But she doesn't just walk up the stairs, she walks to me. She stops by me. I spin in the kitchen stool, my legs parted. She moves in-between them, running her hands up my thighs as she does so. She gets in close, nose to nose, eye to eye, my lips to her perfectly plump, pink lips. Her breathing is hot, heavy and obviously ridden with nerves. She's usually so comfortable around me, so used to moving with, around or away from me her nerves are never seen. But now, this close, out of no where, she's nervous.

"Kiss me, Harry," she whispers hot against my lips. "Do something different."

I don't question her statement, because I know what it means. It means do something other than what we always do (which is nothing).

I'm hesitant with what to do, which is - surprisingly - a good sign. Usually it's routine: touch here, rub there, kiss that. Now, being told to do something different, I don't where to start. Should I go straight for her lips?  Or should I linger on her neck with teasing touches? I usually softly press our lips, so maybe I should stray from soft and vanilla.

I moved my hands quickly to the back of her neck to bring her face close to mine. She willingly leaned into my body. Her lips were so close to mine that I couldn't - wouldn't - hold out any longer. I press them firm to mine, no teasing, chaste touches. It's rough and hard; it's everything we've been hiding from for months.

I stand up, bringing her with me. She doesn't gasp like she used to when I'd do that, but I can feel the fast pace of her heart beating against my chest. Her hands are soft. Her mouth is desperate. It's hot and fumbling; it's every unspoken desire from the past few months all wrapped into one.

She pulls away for a short moment, just when I'm about to climb up the stairs with her still clinging to me. It always was a difficult task.

"I love you," she says. She's not telling me she loves me - at least it doesn't feel that way. It seems like a statement, like she's wondering how? How do I love you?

I move to a wall that's beside the staircase and lean against it. Alexis wiggles from my grip, but doesn't stray away. She's right in front of me, hands smoothing along my body. That's instinctive. She's always done that, even in the past few months.

"I love you," I say back, because I have to. It's not something you leave hanging. I let my hands play with her straw-like fringe. The hair is dirty and messy, but so cute. So Alexis.

It's so silent, a stunned sound. We're happily silently, though. We're not rushing to get back to hastily making out. This seems like us. We're back to the norm.

(A/N: hey guys!! i hope you're all enjoying the sequel thus far!! please comment to tell me what you think and don't forget to vote! xxxxxx)