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I slammed the door as I entered the shared room of our apartment. My eyes were slit open from my drunken haze, and my blonde hair was now in different directions from pulling at it all night, drink after drink, after drink.
I threw open the refrigerator door and started rummaging through all the foods, desperate for something to fill my stomach.
"Niall?" I heard Addie call, in a harsh voice down the hall.
I only knew what that meant. She was mad. I ignored her and continued looking for food, I came across jarred pickles, roast beef, string cheese, and some mac&cheese I put in here yesterday. I could have it all if I wanted, but nothing seemed like it would satisfy me, so I kept searching.
"Niall!" She snapped, my name more loudly her voice now in the kitchen.
I could feel her eyes piercing the side of my face. I decided to go with the roast beef, pickles and cheese, I would make a sandwich. I'm not sure how it will all taste but at this point i'll take anything. I'll probably end up puking it all later anyway.
"Are you going to answer me?" she presses, her voice laced with frustration and anger.
I simply continued to ignore her, taking out all the stuff, piling it in my arms and kicking the door shut with my foot. I laid it all out on the table, and moved to the cabinet to get out bread.
"Fine! Don't answer me, just listen!" she demanded, her tone of anger slicing into my ears. "I am so sick of you coming home at god knows what hour with god knows who, drinking yourself to the point where you can barley stand or function! I called you a hundred fucking times and I get no answer or text from you! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?! Im worried as hell about you and you can't so much as pick up the fucking phone to tell me you're okay, I'm only left here to assume the worst! If I ever did that, you would never let me out by myself again!"
She ranted throwing her arms around, I could tell by the tone of her voice she was only getting angrier and usually when she gets this angry, she starts to get sad, she starts to get so frustrated tears start to form which feels like knives to my stomach. But still, I ignored her, making my sandwich.
She was right, I have done this to her far too many times, and if she were the one doing this to me I would never let her out of my sight. My phone was off, I turned if off before I went into the pub with the lads but not because I wanted to worry her, but because I didn't want to feel guilty when I would see a desperate text, or 15 voice mails left from her asking if i was okay, because I wouldn't be. She would find out where I was and march over and drag me back home, and I didn't want that. I wanted to have fun, I wanted to get drunk and do stupid shit with my friends without my girlfriend intervening. It sounds awful I know, but I was 18, I didn't want to feel like I was living with my mother again. Me and Addie only lived together for almost a year, and ever since I felt like I was obligated to be home at a certain time and I didn't like that. It was my apartment, I could come home whenever the fuck I want.
She stared at me for a moment her chest moving up and down, it started to falter a little. "I-I don't know if I can do this anymore.." she muttered, in a more fragile voice.
My head snapped up at that moment. I could see the tears verging in her beautiful eyes, I waited for her to tell me she was going to try to deal with this, like she always did, but nothing came out of her mouth. She only bit her lip when it started to quiver.
"What the hell do you mean by that?" I slurred in anger, turning my body to face her. I felt my chest tightening, and my heart clenching, was she going to break up with me? No, no she couldn't, she wouldn't. We have been together for 4 years. We love each other, she wouldn't throw that all away.
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OPEN WOUNDS | N.H
Fanfiction| Not everything heals, sometimes they remain open wounds. | + This was fully edited in April of 2015, it used to be a [Y/N] story, because it was one of my very first when I started writing in 2012/13. I changed it to an actual name because it both...