OPEN WOUNDS | N.H

| Chapter Eight - Final (Alternate Ending) |

I have been laying up against this concrete wall for I don't know how long now. During the time I have been relentlessly rustling my hair, running my hands roughly over my face, pulling at the roots of my brunette hair with only traces of my past blonde streaked hair. I have been nipping at my dry lips, and rubbing at my eyes as tears prance down my tired face.

The memories of Addie have only progressed to get worse, ever since I talked about it with that wanker Mr. Daley. The thoughts I have suppressed to the back of my mind are now finally merging, taking over my brain and Addie's face plastered every time I close my eyes.

I couldn't help but picture her smile, her laugh, her skin. I pictured what life would of been like if she were here today. We would have a kid. A little me, or a little Addie, either way we would have a beautiful child running around.

We could be happy. If I just knew about the kid then I would of stopped drinking for sure. I would of never touched alcohol again if it meant starting a life with Addie. I would never of gone out that night. None of this would of fucking happened if she just told me!

I suddenly felt a little anger in me, I hated thinking about Addie carrying our child because then I have to face the truth that not only did I kill Addie, I killed my child too, and I can't deal with that thought. I just can't.

I wanted to punch myself for feeling a little anger towards Addie, I had no right to be angry with her. None at all. That only made me more angry with myself.

I pressed my lips in a firm line and hit the back of my head on the concrete wall a few times in frustration shutting my eyes tightly. I felt tears sting the corners again.

I rubbed at them again, and again hoping to make them disappear in some way but they just kept coming. "Fucking hell." I mumbled, holding in a sob. I just wished I could of died that night. I wish it was me. I fucking wish it was me.

I heard the door unlock from the other side, making the medal door echo throughout the room as it slowly opened. Mr. Daley comes in, with his hands folded in front of him as the door shut behind him.

I rolled my eyes at his presence. "What the hell do you want?" I growled looking away from him annoyed.

I heard him clear his throat, "I came in to ask you if your ready to come out, and talk to me. Civilly." he emphasized sternly.

I chuckled bitterly, moving knees to lay flatly in front of me. "Then you're wasting your time." I remarked.

I heard him heave a sigh, I could hear sympathy in it. "Niall," he started, "I am sorry that I talked you into telling me-"

"Tricked." I snarled, glaring at him.

He put his hand up to stop me from saying anymore, "Either way, it is my job to get you to talk about the trauma that got you here in the first place. What I told you was true, I told you what happened with me to help you. " he reasoned.

I chuckled bitterly again, "Yeah, it looks like you helped me a whole lot!" I said sarcastically gesturing around my surroundings.

He sighed shortly again, "Its a process Niall," he said taking a chair lent up against the wall, placing it a small distance away from me and sitting on it. "Healing is a process."

I scoffed, cocking my head away from him. "Sounds like bullshit to me. Healing is supposed to make you feel better, I feel worse." I mumbled angrily.

"Not always. Physically yes, but mentally.. that's a different story."

I kept my eyes on the opposite wall, staying quite. I read into his words, and there was a voice in the back of my head saying 'maybe he's right, give it a chance.' but I quickly over powered it, I couldn't believe pain like this could go away just by talking about it. I don't think it ever could.