Lover Dearest [3]

20.) Fancy Tears

The Fourth Of July is supposed to be a happy time that you spend with family and friends and do fun stuff and party. Well, because it’s an American holiday and we were in Australia, we couldn’t exactly party, also because we didn’t know anybody here. So, we decided to just go out for a fancy dinner and have a few (very few) drinks and call it a day

But it was still a holiday, nonetheless and on holidays, you were supposed to be happy, as mentioned above, but I just wasn’t happy. For the past few days, I haven’t really spoken to Holly all that much and not because I’m bitter about our conversation (or attempt at one) earlier, but just because she’s never around. She’s always with Kale, out doing something. Elle is always with Isaac and Andy is always with Tommy and that leaves Libby- party of one. Especially because I can’t be around Ryder without him teasing me about Jackson and I can’t be around Brendon without feeling like a Pepsi can surrounded by many angry Cokes. That left Jarrod, but he was always with either Brendon or Ryder or somebody that I felt too awkward to be around.

So on the Fourth of July, I wasn’t in the best of moods. I almost feigned an illness to stay at the house, but I decided against it at the last minute, mostly because I had a really cute dress. The top was gold and covered with a layer of black lace with a black belt with a small bow on the front. The skirt was made up of the gold fabric with a layer of see-through black striped fabric over top of it. My shoes were simple black heels with excruciating height, but they were cute and we all know that beauty is pain. I wore fake diamond earrings that were shaped like cute little bows and my finger nails matched my dress- they were gold, of course. I put my hair up in a cute bun-like style and sprayed a little bit of Taylor Swift’s Wonderstruck perfume on my arms before deciding that I was ready to go.

I walked out of my room and once I got down the hallway, I ran into Holly, Elle, and Andy who, I’m assuming, got ready together.

“Hey, why didn’t you get ready with us?” Andy asked with a frown. “I sent you a text to come into my room.”

“Sorry, I didn’t check my phone.” I lied. I saw the text, but I really wasn’t in the mood to socialize or fake a smile like everything was alright inside of my brain because it just wasn’t.

“Well, you look great.” Elle chirped as we all walked down the stairs together.

“Thanks.” I chirped. “Of course, you all look amazing as well.”

The guys were all waiting in the living room for us with impatient looks on their faces, like always. Don’t they get that girls take longer to get ready than guys?

I waited awkwardly in the doorway as all of the girls got complimented by their boyfriend/fiancé, giggled, blushed, and then we were all on our way out the door to the two SUVs out front that we would drive to the restaurant. I ended up in the car with Ryder, Jarrod, Jackson, and of course Brendon. I was tempted to start singing Single Ladies, but I refrained. But it would have been funny because we were like the singles car and the other SUV had all of the love birds in it.

I tuned out what everybody was talking about in the car ride to the restaurant because I was so preoccupied with my pity party that I didn’t really bother paying attention to their boyish conversations. I just kept silent and looked out the window the whole time, wishing that I had somebody to talk to. I used to have so many friends. Okay, not so many, but a few really, really amazing friends and in just one night it’s like I’ve lost all of them. I can’t tell them anything at all anymore because all of my problems relay back to Jackson and what’s been happening with him and I can’t tell any of them that- it’s not like I have a choice, I doubt any of them would even listen. And I can’t talk to the guys about that because they’d just tease me and you can’t talk girl talk with a guy, that’s just weird. Unless, maybe, if he’s gay.